Reviving the Holy Kiss: Unity in Modern Christian Fellowship

Posted on by Adrian Clark

“Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you. Greet one another with a holy kiss. All God’s people here send their greetings. May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.”
2 Corinthians 13:11-14 NIVUK

A kiss amongst Christians is unfortunately a problem in our Western societies, or at least in the UK, because it can be misconstrued or misinterpreted due to the societal views and taboos that exist. It can be just about considered acceptable between a man and a woman who know each other, but when observed between those of the same sex, the fault line exposed by an onlooker’s views on gender issues rises up and can cause problems. Not all the time, of course, because multi-cultural Britain has come to understand and accept customs appropriate to certain people groups and religions. But in our traditional churches and denominations, the holy kiss does not appear in the liturgies or even in more social settings. In fact, in some churches with larger congregations, any form of greeting can be missing. It can be easy to slip into the meeting after it has started and slip out without talking to anyone, let alone give someone a handshake, hug or even a kiss.

But things were different in those early Christian days, when Paul and the other Apostles were turning the Mediterranean societies upside down with their message of the love and forgiveness of God and of Christ crucified for their sins. In those days, a holy kiss was a non-sexual, sincere greeting of brotherly affection, unity, and love amongst the early believers, signifying a “set apart” spiritual family bond. A kiss was an acceptable form of greeting among people in the Middle East and was even a cultural norm, used to greet guests or family members. It was even a common greeting showing respect to those in authority or when reconciliation was required between two parties. But what set the Christian holy kiss apart from the secular equivalent was that it was “holy” and had a deeper spiritual meaning for early believers, particularly as it crossed racial and cultural boundaries. 

So, in a setting where there were different factions, as was the case in Corinth, Paul’s encouragement to “Greet one another with a holy kiss” would have been a sign that any differences had been settled and unity between believers was again present. This he followed up with his final words, “may … the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all”. Such fellowship was not possible in an atmosphere of antagonism, disunity and chaos.

Paul encouraged the believers in Rome to do the same, as we read in Romans 16:16, “Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ send greetings”. It must have been standard text for Paul, being word-for-word the same as in 2 Corinthians 13. Again, the greeting appears in 1 Corinthians 16:20, “All the brothers and sisters here send you greetings. Greet one another with a holy kiss”, and 1 Thessalonians 5:26, “Greet all God’s people with a holy kiss”. But it wasn’t just Paul who wrote this greeting. It appears at the end of 1 Peter, “Greet one another with a kiss of love. Peace to all of you who are in Christ”. 

In the Old Testament, there were occasions where a kiss was used in a similar context, such as in 1 Samuel 10:1, “Then Samuel took a flask of olive oil and poured it on Saul’s head and kissed him, saying, ‘Has not the Lord anointed you ruler over his inheritance?” In this case, it was in an act of reverence, as Samuel recognised God’s presence with the man before him. And we all remember the kiss that sealed Jesus’ fate when the soldiers came to the garden to arrest Him. Matthew 26:48-49, “Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: ‘The one I kiss is the man; arrest him.’ Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, ‘Greetings, Rabbi!’ and kissed him”. Why was the signal to be a kiss? In those days, it would have been a natural way to honour someone and to demonstrate brotherly love.

So today, we pilgrims reflect on how we greet one another and consider the “holy kiss” in an appropriate setting. It is not always acceptable to everyone, as in the case of a young man I knew who recoiled from human contact of any sort, because he was somewhere on the autistic spectrum. As an aside, though, it has been wonderful to see God at work in him, bringing healing that enabled him to gradually overcome his phobia. 

In greeting someone there is an opportunity to share a common bond that centres in God. It may be with a hug, or a handshake, or even a “holy kiss”, but its inherent meaning is one of mutual love and respect. The early church considered such a greeting to be important, and today we would do well to emulate their sentiments and intentions in our modern churches and fellowships.

Dear Father God. With one mind we greet one another, knowing that we do so in Your name and to Your glory. You created families, and we are part of Yours through Jesus. Thank You. Amen.

A Holy Kiss

Posted on by Adrian Clark

“The churches here in the province of Asia send greetings in the Lord, as do Aquila and Priscilla and all the others who gather in their home for church meetings. All the brothers and sisters here send greetings to you. Greet each other with a sacred kiss.”
1 Corinthians 16:19-20 NLT

1 Corinthians 16:20 is translated in the NIV, “All the brothers and sisters here send you greetings. Greet one another with a holy kiss”. Sacred or holy, the meaning in this verse is the same. In the culture of Paul’s day, a kiss was a common form of greeting between family members and close friends. In some parts of the world, this custom has continued, and we find the same instruction from Paul in Romans 16:16, “Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ send greetings”. Peter wrote the same, “Greet each other with a kiss of love. Peace be with all of you who are in Christ” (1 Peter 5:14), so it was not just Paul’s suggestion.

In our Western and British culture, a kiss is retained for romantic or sensual purposes, and is not associated with a Christian greeting (although I did attend one church where the pastor asked the congregation to greet each other with a kiss – it didn’t go down well!). Instead, when asked, the congregation will greet each other with a handshake, a hug, or no physical contact at all. And in every case, some words of welcome or reference to something known about the other person accompany the greeting.

In the Church of England, they have formalised the greeting into an action called the “Passing of the Peace”. This practice involves a liturgical exchange between the minister and the congregation, after which members of the congregation greet one another. The standard words used during the service are from the Common Worship texts: The minister says, “The peace of the Lord be always with you”, and the congregation responds, “And also with you”. The minister then usually encourages the congregation with words such as, “Let us offer one another a sign of peace”. The practice is intended to symbolise the congregation’s reconciliation with one another and their becoming one body of Christ before sharing in the sacrament of Communion. Parishes are encouraged to ensure that the greeting is inclusive and that visitors or those who do not know many people are not left out. I think it is rather sad that the intent behind the “holy kiss” has had to be formalised in this denomination, and even misinterpreted just to involve “peace”, good though that is. 

So what was the purpose of greeting each other with a “holy or sacred kiss”? Over the centuries, the practice of greeting one another with a holy kiss adapted to fit various cultural contexts. What remained constant, however, was the godly principle of mutual love and respect for our brothers and sisters. In Romans 12:9-10, Paul wrote, “Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honouring each other”. When greeting another person, regardless of the context, social norms and sensitivities must be honoured. I used to know a young man who couldn’t cope with physical contact at all, and when this sensitivity emerged in a church context, everyone quickly honoured him with restraint. At the other end of the spectrum, an old lady in the church loved hugs and really appreciated gestures of love and acceptance.

The adjective “holy” or “sacred” in the NLT translation indicates that this kiss embodies the love, purity, and sanctity of Christian fellowship. Jesus said to His disciples, “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples” (John 13:34-35). We can demonstrate Christian love in a number of ways, but I sometimes think that those in the society in which we live would never know just by looking at us together. A public greeting that differs from the norm of handshakes might perhaps be a good idea. What do my fellow pilgrims think?

Dear Lord Jesus. You gave us a new commandment to love one another, and we are so sad that we too often fail in this part of our Christian life. Please help us, we pray, to treat each other in the faith well, and with the love that You commanded. In Your precious name. Amen.

Holy Kiss

Posted on by Adrian Clark

“Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ greet you.”
Romans‬ ‭16‬:‭16‬ ‭AMP‬‬

Here is a custom that is quite foreign to us Western types. A “holy kiss”? What is that all about? Of course we see people in other parts of the world greeting each other with something that looks like a kiss, and this was probably the case in the Middle Eastern culture of Paul’s day. But in our Western expressions of Christianity it is unusual to engage with another person, particularly someone who isn’t close to us, in this way.

There are three other mentions of a “holy kiss” in the New Testament, and all in letters written by Paul. But in those days it was no big deal, because greeting someone with a kiss was the equivalent of what a handshake would be today. It should be emphasised that this was a “holy kiss” as against one that was unholy, which would have sexual or hypocritical connotations.

Some years ago, I was in a church meeting, and at a certain point in the service we were encouraged to give each other a “holy kiss”. Inevitably there was some embarrassed giggling, and most people refused to get involved, but next to me there was a man with a beard who had no such inhibitions and without warning I was aware of this hairy chin too close to me for comfort! I know a young Christian man who has mild Asperger’s, and he cannot bear anyone touching him, so just as well he wasn’t there in that meeting.

We of course remember the account of another kiss, one that was far from being holy. We read in Luke 22:47-48, “But even as Jesus said this, a crowd approached, led by Judas, one of the twelve disciples. Judas walked over to Jesus to greet him with a kiss. But Jesus said, “Judas, would you betray the Son of Man with a kiss?”” A sad encounter and one that sealed Judas’ doom.

To those early Christians, the “holy kiss” was particularly special, because it was morally pure and blameless, and it signified love, affection and friendship. In that context we too can uphold the same principles, perhaps by taking someone’s hand or giving them a hug. After all, we are members of the greatest organisation, if we can call it that, this world has ever seen. We are united by our love for each other and our love of God. That’s surely worth a lot more than a handshake!

Dear Father God. You created us to be warm and loving beings, full of Your love and grace. Please help us to view our fellow believers as You see them. In Jesus’ name. Amen,