“Now I am coming to you for the third time, and I will not be a burden to you. I don’t want what you have—I want you. After all, children don’t provide for their parents. Rather, parents provide for their children. I will gladly spend myself and all I have for you, even though it seems that the more I love you, the less you love me. Some of you admit I was not a burden to you. But others still think I was sneaky and took advantage of you by trickery. But how? Did any of the men I sent to you take advantage of you? When I urged Titus to visit you and sent our other brother with him, did Titus take advantage of you? No! For we have the same spirit and walk in each other’s steps, doing things the same way.”
2 Corinthians 12:14-18 NLT
Were Paul’s concerns and feelings about the Corinthians church real or imagined? Did the believers in Corinth really think about him in the way he described? Paul was preparing for his third visit to them, and he expressed his love for them, sacrificial love that put them above his own needs. Paul was sad that the love he had for his friends in Corinth was not reciprocated, and he was looking for a reason as to why that should be the case. He wasn’t “sneaky” or involved in some form of “trickery”, he said. He wasn’t a burden to them. The men he sent to visit them were honourable men who didn’t take advantage of them. It is almost like reading a letter from a mother to a wayward son, setting out her love for him and appealing to his better nature. What had gone wrong?
There are times in relationships when there is a falling out, and the situation can soon develop into a permanent schism. The news media only rarely don’t have a story about a celebrity marriage that has gone sour and ended up in divorce, and lower down the social scale, the same weary story repeats itself as a relationship breakdown works its way through the courts, far from the glare of publicity. There was the time when the relationship between David and his son Absalom broke down. The background started with the rape of Absalom’s sister by one of her half-brothers, and Absalom eventually killed the man responsible. After this, he fled the family to live elsewhere and we read that, “… King David, now reconciled to Amnon’s death, longed to be reunited with his son Absalom” (2 Samuel 13:39). But as we read on in the following chapters we find out how Absalom conspired to take over his father’s throne, and how it all came to a tragic end, with Absalom killed in battle. We finally read David’s response when he heard the news of Absalom’s death, as recorded in 2 Samuel 18:33, “The king was overcome with emotion. He went up to the room over the gateway and burst into tears. And as he went, he cried, “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you! O Absalom, my son, my son””. What went wrong in the relationship between father and son? The initial sinful act between another half-brother and sister ended up with the mobilisation of the entire army of Israel and we read that 20,000 men lost their lives in the ensuing battle. Finally, Absalom himself was killed. What a tragedy! At the root of the relational breakdown was sinful and selfish behaviour.
In Psalm 55:12-14, David lamented the behaviour of someone he once considered a “close friend”. He wrote, “It is not an enemy who taunts me— I could bear that. It is not my foes who so arrogantly insult me— I could have hidden from them. Instead, it is you—my equal, my companion and close friend. What good fellowship we once enjoyed as we walked together to the house of God”. Human nature hasn’t changed over the years since Adam.
There was an occasion when Paul and Barnabas parted company, as we read in Acts 15:36-39, “After some time Paul said to Barnabas, “Let’s go back and visit each city where we previously preached the word of the Lord, to see how the new believers are doing.” Barnabas agreed and wanted to take along John Mark. But Paul disagreed strongly, since John Mark had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in their work. Their disagreement was so sharp that they separated. Barnabas took John Mark with him and sailed for Cyprus”.
We pilgrims have most likely had a falling out with another person, with a friendship coming to an end. In some cases, such a breakdown is never healed. There is nothing wrong with the demise of a friendship. It is the aftermath that is important. In the Lord’s prayer, we read, “and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us” (Matthew 6:12). In God’s eyes, forgiveness for, and by, a believier is mandatory, as Jesus said in the next few verses, “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins”. We must always walk in forgiveness to other believers and beyond, and even extend our forgiveness to those such as politicians, government organisations, and all, who we feel have caused us harm. We may not know them personally, but we must still forgive them for the way they have treated us. In extreme cases, we must even write a letter to them explaining what they have done, how it has harmed us, and that we forgive them anyway. We can then move on in God’s grace, secure in the knowledge that our sins are forgiven.
Heavenly Father. There are times when it is difficult behaving in the way You require. Yet, through Jesus, You provided forgiveness for all our sins. We know that we are not responsible for others, but we are responsible for ourselves. Please help us, we pray, and “search our hearts” and “point out anything that offends You”. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Being a Pilgrim 