Many Troubles

Posted on by korgrocker

“But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin. However, those who get married at this time will have troubles, and I am trying to spare you those problems. But let me say this, dear brothers and sisters: The time that remains is very short. So from now on, those with wives should not focus only on their marriage. Those who weep or who rejoice or who buy things should not be absorbed by their weeping or their joy or their possessions. Those who use the things of the world should not become attached to them. For this world as we know it will soon pass away.”
1 Corinthians 7:28-31 NLT

Marriage is not a sin, wrote Paul, but because of the times, he said that those who do go ahead and get married will have “many troubles”. Were there any different challenges for married people in those days compared with those faced by married people today? Probably not, although the “troubles” would be of a different nature. Since the beginning of time, a marriage has taken place between a man and woman because of the strength of the love bond. Still, in this Biblical context, we are considering marriage between a believing man and woman, although the principles apply to all marriages. In Ephesians 5, Paul wrote about mutual submission, as Paul wrote in Ephesians 5:21, “And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ“. In the following few verses, Paul’s instructions about mutual love and submission include references to Christ Himself. “For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Saviour of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her” (Ephesians 5:22-25). And he finished the chapter by writing, “So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (Ephesians 5:33). 

At wedding ceremonies held in church, the passage about love from 1 Corinthians 13 is often included. Remember what it says? The part frequently emphasised is, “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). The love referred to by Paul is the most critical kind, agape love. A definition of agape is that it is “an ancient Greek term for a selfless, unconditional, and sacrificial form of love, often considered the highest type of love in Christianity. It emphasises commitment to the good of another, regardless of their actions or any personal gain, embodying a profound love for God and fellow humans that persists through all circumstances“. In the marriage environment, an agape love is needed because two people with different and unbending agendas can otherwise cause the “many troubles” to be amplified, with unwanted consequences. Peter knew about this kind of love as well when he wrote, “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8).

But what about the “many troubles”? We who are married know all about them, and the relationship can become toxic if Biblical principles are not applied. It is a wonder that sinful human beings stay married at all, particularly those who are unbelievers, until we realise that every person, man or woman, has been made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27, “So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them”). How does that work out in a sinful and evil society? Often with great difficulty, because the devil loves to see marriages break up, but God’s qualities of love, righteousness and justice will prevail in any relationship. The troubles in a marriage can come between two people with different points of view, as they face external pressures such as a lack of finances, difficulty in finding suitable housing, and families, followed by health challenges, diets, and all types of preferences, some important but others relatively trivial. Most of these issues are best sorted during a courting period, but many couples rush headlong into a relationship before considering the consequences. Near where I live, there is a single man, now in his forties, who lives on his own with his dog, quite content with his singleness. But he shared with me one day that he had nearly got married and had even paid for all the expensive items, including a lavish honeymoon, before the enormity of what he was doing suddenly frightened him, and he walked away from the relationship. He has never dated a woman since. There are also anecdotal stories of couples who decide not to proceed with marriage after visiting a furniture store, such as IKEA, and their differences in taste lead to strife and the realisation that there is much to be resolved between them.

“Many troubles”? There are indeed many, too many to list here, but for sinful human beings, troubles in a marriage are inevitable. There is only one way to a successful marriage, and that is through mutual love, submission and respect. Together, and with God at the centre of their relationship, all troubles can be overcome.

Dear Father God. You ordained the sacrament of Holy Matrimony for a reason, because that is what You have desired for Your children. We pray that Your perfect arrangement prevails in our lives and the lives of our families. And we pray for all those we know who may be considering marriage or who wish to stay ummarried, that You will continue to love and bless them in their choice. In Your precious name. Amen.

About Virgins

Posted on by korgrocker

“Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.”
1 Corinthians 7:25-28 NIVUK

Paul’s assessment of the Corinthian church was that there was a “crisis” there, and in the context of this chapter, this referred to issues related to sexual matters. Marriage, sexual immorality, societal attitudes, idolatry, virginity, and celibacy were all wrapped up in a potpourri of challenges that had caused Paul to devote much time and energy to try to unravel what was going on. There were unmarried people, virgins,  who had never had any sexual relations with anyone, and Paul was concerned for them. He didn’t have any specific, God-given guidance for them, but he did have some thoughts based on his own experiences. He referred to himself as being a person “who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy”, something that both the Corinthians and we would endorse. Paul was putting much weight on his advice, an indication that the situation in Corinth had become a distraction and was getting in the way of the purity of their worship. So his advice was, firstly, if you are married or committed to be married, then get on with it, but be warned; a marriage will bring with it “many troubles”, and Paul wanted to spare those who were thinking of embarking on such a life choice from the resulting hassles. Secondly, Paul suggested that being a virgin was ok as well. But above all, Paul implied, don’t make any rash decisions and instead take time to think things through, and remain as they were.

The word “virgin” isn’t commonly used today, unless it is associated with travel or financial companies originally founded by Sir Richard Branson. To describe a young woman (or man come to that) as being a “virgin”, is not considered politically correct, and in any case, in this day and age, who knows the sexual status of anyone. And what does it matter anyway? But that is the secular viewpoint. In the Kingdom of God, sexual relationships are set out as being between a man and a woman. This couple had previously bound themselves together in a lifelong marriage commitment. The expectation from Genesis 2 was that God decided that man, on his own, even if expected to live forever, sustained by the Tree of Life, needed a companion. Genesis 2:18, “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him””. Don’t forget what God said in the previous chapter, when He spoke into being, from nothing, the world and the universe and everything within them, all with a mind-boggling, detailed complexity. So, God spoke again and made a woman, but not from dust this time. He created a woman from one of Adam’s ribs, a process that recorded the first operation carried out with a general anaesthetic. Why did God create Eve in this way? Genesis 2:22, 24, “Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. … This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one”. It was God’s intention that there would be a perfect marriage between men and women, with no need for virgins, or so it would seem. Incidentally, there is an almost perfect 50:50 split between male and female births (statistics record 50.4% male and 49.6% female globally); have we ever asked the question “why?”. The evolutionists will point to “natural selection”, but such perfection, regardless of the devil’s ambitions and interference, has God’s creative fingerprints all over it. 

Paul gave the Corinthians some practical advice, addressing the specific concerns that they had. In similar circumstances today, the same advice applies, but as Paul said, he had “no command from the Lord” about such things. There is, therefore, no substitute for guidance from the Holy Spirit. Human beings are wired to conform to God’s order, male and female, joined together in marriage, but if someone wishes to be a virgin, then that is ok as well. 

We can’t leave this topic without referring to the “gender wars” currently underway. What arrogance, that a person thinks that they are born “in the wrong body”, directly challenging God’s order and creation. But that is just like the devil, who has always tried to frustrate God’s plans, His perfect order. But we needn’t worry about this deviation in human thinking. God has not fallen off His throne. We live in a moral universe, in one where God honours the choice made by human beings everywhere. John 3:16 is clear about God’s amazing and perfect love, and man’s choice. We read, “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life“. We must note, because Jesus said it, that it is only those who believe in Jesus who will not perish. That means that those who don’t believe in Him, by their own choice, will perish. Just think about it. Those who say that they were born “in the wrong body” and go to great lengths to correct the situation they perceive as being wrong are committing a grave sin against God, for which there will be consequences. How can God allow such a sin to be left unpunished? So their unconfessed sin will result in their perishing, unless, of course, they repent and accept Jesus before they die. Rather than go through the chemical and surgical procedures that are available today, they would have been far better advised to follow Paul’s suggestion, “for a man to remain as he is”. We note, of course, that “man” involves “woman” as well.

We pilgrims may be in a married relationship, just thinking about it, a widow or widower, or still a virgin. Before God, Paul said, all these conditions are acceptable. Instead of concerning ourselves with such things, we should look to Jesus, seeking to serve Him day by day, in our journey to eternity. He is our Saviour and Lord. Forever.

Dear Lord Jesus. We sincerely thank You for all You have done in our lives, through the Cross at Calvary. Please forgive us for getting our priorities wrong sometimes. We pray that You lead and guide us on our journey to Glory, step by step and day by day, through Your Spirit that dwells within each one of us. In Your precious name. Amen.

Is Divorce Allowed?

Posted on by korgrocker

“But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not leave his wife. … (But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.)”
1 Corinthians 7:10-11, 15 NLT

On the one hand, Paul received a command from the Lord that neither a husband nor a wife should leave their spouse. But then there seems to be some grounds for divorce in certain circumstances. Jesus said, “But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery” (Matthew 5:32). The prophet Malachi also had some Spirit-driven words about divorce, ““For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife”” (Malachi 2:16). 

The Roman Catholic point of view is very strict when it comes to matters of divorce. A quotation from the Catholic Answers website: “Divorce that “claims to break the marital contract” is never morally allowed. In fact, note that divorce only claims to break marriage but cannot achieve it” … “there is no such thing as a spouse “breaking” the marriage bond or contract. It is immoral to attempt, and a grave sin for the one who has that intent”. However, the Catholics will allow what they refer to as a “civil divorce” to protect the legal interests of an injured party and any children resulting from the marriage, but as long as this course of action is not intended to annul the marriage. 

The Anglican viewpoint on divorce is similar but is less dogmatic when it comes to the situation regarding the remarriage of divorcees. Quote from anglican.org, “Without compromising its teaching that Christian marriage is ‘in its nature’ lifelong, the Church of England has, after much debate, now accepted that, sad as this is, marriages can break down. It has been further accepted that, even for clergy (including bishops), a further marriage can be possible, and can be solemnised in church, where a former spouse is still living – providing that an enquiry has been made into the circumstances surrounding the ending of the first marriage and the inception and coming to fruition of the subsequent relationship. They reflect the Church of England’s emerging view that where a marriage has failed, a fresh start is possible. In part (and perhaps in origin) this development came in response to the reality of civil divorce; one party may, as a point of fact, cause a marriage to end in law, even against the wishes of the other”.

The Elim Movement’s position on the breakdown of marriage is Biblically based; the following is from their “Statement of Beliefs”: “Marriage can only be broken by marital unfaithfulness involving adultery, homosexuality, or incest. While the Scriptures give evidence that the marriage vow and “one-flesh” union are broken by such acts and therefore recognize the breaking of the marriage relationship, the Scriptures do recommend that the most desirable option would be reconciliation”. Regarding divorce, the same Statement reads, “We, therefore, discourage divorce by all lawful means and teaching.  Our objective is reconciliation and the healing of the marital union wherever possible. Marital unfaithfulness should not be considered so much an occasion or opportunity for divorce but rather an opportunity for Christian grace, forgiveness, and restoration. Divorce in our society is the termination of a marriage through a legal process authorised by the State.  While the Church recognises this legal process as an appropriate means to facilitate the permanent separation of spouses, the Church restricts the idea of divorce, in the sense of dissolution of marriage, to reasons specified in Scripture”.  

Across our denominations today, it seems that marriage and divorce are topics that are treated very seriously. However, for the Corinthian church, Paul added an extra possibility regarding the annulment of a marriage, specifically for couples who were unequally yoked. That is, one spouse was a believer and the other an unbeliever. This was to address the specific situation that had occurred when the congregation there was considering celibacy and holiness in their marriages. In this context, he wrote, “If the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go“. However, this is less applicable to married couples today.

As we pilgrims know, the secular society in which we live accepts marriage, but without taking the vows too seriously. Divorce is treated by unbelievers as one of those things, and a better option than having to make the effort to make the marriage work. Many couples today decide that cohabiting is the best option, and that has become a social norm, sadly. But holding fast to the Biblical stand on marriage is something that we do, and we find that it drives another wedge between the two kingdoms, the kingdom of the world and the Kingdom of Heaven. When it comes to relations between believers, whether in marriage or not, the standards of love, acceptance and grace set a very high bar, unthinkable to our secular friends. But then we pause, setting aside all our prejudices and legalisms, and remembering instead all that Jesus has done for us. Those in any sort of Godly relationship, marriage or not, will have difficulties at times, but through Jesus and His Spirit, we are more than conquerors, with the strength to be overcomers. 1 John 5:4-5, “For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith. And who can win this battle against the world? Only those who believe that Jesus is the Son of God”. We are not in a position without hope, as our unbelieving friends are. Through our faith in the King of kings and Lord of lords, we have a fantastic future and the means to defeat the enemy who comes to steal and destroy. The devil’s hold over our marriages has been broken.

Dear Father God. Thank You for our spouses and our friends. Please help us to take the fragrance of Jesus into all our relationships, this day and every day. Amen.

Unequally Yoked Marriages

Posted on by korgrocker

“Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command from the Lord. If a fellow believer has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. And if a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the believing husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy. (But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.) Don’t you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you? And don’t you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you?”
1 Corinthians 7:12-16 NLT

A larger-than-usual passage of Scripture today to fuel our thoughts, but Paul is addressing the subject of marriages that contain a believer and an unbeliever. To warrant such attention, this must have been a not uncommon experience in the Corinthian church, and even today, the situation of unequally yoked marriages continues. Similarly, in my own experience, my wife became a Christian a year or so before I did. Although this introduced a new dynamic into our relationship (not always positive initially, dare I say!), there was never any suggestion of a marriage breakdown. 

Paul gave some pragmatic advice to those in a marriage where one spouse was a believer and the other wasn’t. To make doubly sure, he laboured the point a little, specifically mentioning that the wife should not leave the husband and the husband should not leave the wife, and he gave a very good reason for the advice. Paul wrote, “For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the believing husband brings holiness to his marriage”. And the spin-off was that the children resulting from their union would also become holy. A win-win situation all around, as the marriage would remain intact and the children would be blessed. And Paul finally suggested that the one-sided relationship would nevertheless leave the door open to the possibility that, through the believing spouse, the unsaved partner might come to know God and be saved themselves. However, Paul did say that this was not a command he had received from the Lord, so it was simply good, sound, practical advice designed to keep marriages together whenever possible. We remember, of course, that marriage between a man and a woman is a God-ordained relationship, regardless of the partners’ individual beliefs. 

Paul, however, also addressed the situation where a husband and wife failed in their attempts to keep the marriage together, and where the believing partner decided to leave the relationship. There may have been good reasons for this in the Corinthians’ culture of sexual immorality and general debauchery. Perhaps the wife or the husband was deeply involved in practices that were highly offensive and degrading, refused to change their ways, and made it impossible for the believing partner to live with them. In those cases, Paul released the believer because God had “called [them] to live in peace”. This would have been the doomsday scenario, but one that couldn’t be ignored. 

So, what do we pilgrims make of this? A good question and one that demands an answer to a situation we hope we never have to face. But God, in His grace and mercy, has put in His Word advice that has encouraged and helped countless people over the millennia since Paul wrote these words. I have two good friends, each of whom has gone through divorce, and they have come through the situation strong but still wearing the scars in their souls. Marriage is a God-given institution and one that aligns precisely with His commands. We do well if we sustain it, both in our own lives and, if we can, the lives of those we know. And we pray for our friends and family who are considering marriage, that God will lead and guide them in His ways.

Dear Lord Jesus. We thank You for the institution of marriage, and those of us who enjoy the relationship with a believing partner, we give You many thanks. But there will be many who are not so fortunate, and we pray for them today that Your Spirit will be with them and will bless them in all they do. There will also be others who have experienced a painful schism, a divorce between them, and we ask for your forgiveness for the wrongs committed. In such situations, please bring good out of the bad and even a reconciliation where possible. We ask all this in Your precious name. Amen.

God’s Counsel

Posted on by korgrocker

“So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust. But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.”
1 Corinthians 7:8-11 NLT

There are responsibilities in being married. For married people, the Scriptures provide the clear principle “once married, always married”. One thing the Anglicans have got right (in my opinion) is the text of the vows used by the applicants in a marriage ceremony, “I, (name), take you, (name) to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow“. The implication of Paul’s instructions to the Corinthians was very clearly about “till death us do part”, because Paul wrote, “A wife must not leave her husband” and, “the husband must not leave his wife”. But Paul added a caveat about the wife, “But if she does leave her husband” with further instructions following. What was going on here, with an apparent conflict, and the advice only applying to the woman, not the man? If we look at the context of this chapter, it started with answering a question about celibacy, about being single, so that the person concerned would not be distracted from spending more time with the Lord, in prayer and service, as Paul was. So, in that context, perhaps some wives in the Corinthian congregation had already left their husbands for this purpose. Perhaps even some husbands were thinking about doing the same. Perhaps either partner was in the process of thinking about it. But Paul was clear because he added the weight of saying, “I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord,” applying to the sanctity of marriage. So Paul endorsed the principle, “Once married, always married”.

Jesus taught about marriage in His Sermon on the Mount, when He said, “You have heard the law that says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’ But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery” (Matthew 5:31-32). There was only one ground for divorce, and that was adultery. But sadly, in our churches today, I suspect divorced people can be found, feeling uncomfortable when these verses are read, remembering the pain and the shame of the time leading up to the final schism, feeling once again the guilt over their contribution to the divorce and the fallout afterwards. They remember the estranged children and a trail of broken relationships as the previously-married couple’s friends took sides. A good friend of mine was a minister in a church near where I live, and some years ago, his wife left him for another man. It took my friend five years to get over the breakup of his marriage and the divorce, although in his case, at least he still has contact with his children. I’m sure we all have in our families at least someone who has a broken marriage somewhere in their past.

Paul’s instructions to the wife who left her husband so that she could spend more time with the Lord were to either remain single or be reconciled to her husband, but it would have been better to have stayed married in the first place. Was it the case in Corinth that the groundswell of opinion was taking them towards a celibate congregation? Have we ever met a situation in the church where a particular teaching has been so powerful that it results in a knee-jerk reaction and behaviour that swings too far in the wrong direction? For example, some years ago, an independent congregation near where I live had a period of teaching that resulted in the congregation wearing black to represent their mourning for the state of the world and the society around them. Harmless enough, I suppose, but it was thought a bit strange at the time. Sometimes particular topics can be over-emphasised, or taken out of context, and used to underpin a particular church’s direction. In the Corinthian congregation, perhaps the tendency was for celibacy to be promoted, and here was Paul trying to introduce balance and the proper perspective before the believers went off the rails completely, destroying marriages in the process. 

We pilgrims are more balanced, we hope. We promote and apply the full counsel of God to our Kingdom lives here on earth, don’t we? How do we do that? By reading and re-reading the Bible. And not just reading it, but studying it. We are blessed today with a whole selection of Bible versions and helps that will enable us to really understand what the Scriptures say. We hear a message from the pulpit and we overlay it on our own understanding of the Word and put to one side anything that doesn’t seem to fit with our understanding of God’s counsel, so that we can explore and study what has been said, and if necessary update our own Christian beliefs. That is one way in which our pastors and teachers disciple their flock. Our preachers often follow a topic or series helpful to believers, and those of us who have been around for many years also benefit from hearing the truths once again. We pilgrims never tire of hearing God’s Word expounded from the front, and that is why we try and never miss a church meeting. Those who do always run the risk that they will miss something that God wants them to hear. 

We worship a wonderful God who wants His children to become more like His Son, Jesus, and we believers here on earth embrace all that He has for us, and we do our best to grow in His grace and love, day by day.

Dear Father God. You have wonderful and helpful truths in Your Word, and we thank You for Your servants who open our eyes through the power of the Holy Spirit working within us. Please help us to hear what You want us to hear so that we can grow to be the children of God that You want us to be. In Jesus’ name. Amen. 

Sexual Lusts – A Remedy

Posted on by korgrocker

“So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust. But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.”
1 Corinthians 7:8-11 NLT

In today’s verses, Paul continues to set out various instructions about marriage. They provide good, practical help for those believers confused about trying to live their lives in the sexually debauched society in Corinth. Marriage, Paul told them, was ordained by God and should be treated as such, regardless of what was promoted otherwise by the unbelievers around them. Society in those days was a reflection of what went on in Sodom and Gomorrah before sulphur rained down from the heavens and destroyed them, a society that adhered to ideologies promoting all kinds of sexual immorality. They must have known that what they were doing was wrong, because every human being is made in God’s image, but such feelings within them were suppressed, and their consciences seared to extinction. Fast forward to the 21st Century, and nothing has changed. The same human lusts and behaviour, but now new ideologies have emerged to replace those previously present two thousand years before, such as the notion that men can become women and vice versa, with the authorities somehow hoodwinked into endorsing such behaviour. We pilgrims, quietly getting on with our lives in accordance with God’s ways, look on in dismay, trusting that God’s grace will continue for the sake of our children and grandchildren. 

But here Paul is saying that marriage is the only outlet for those with insatiable sexual desires. We know from our news reports that there are those in society, mainly men, who occasionally lose their self-control and prey upon women and girls to find an outlet for their sexual lusts. The sexual urge is incredibly strong, but placed there for a purpose that finds its origins right back in Genesis. We read in Genesis 1:27-28, “So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground””. Sometimes it is hard to consider the idea of bringing up children in a society that so often seems so hostile to the concept of procreation. I am writing this at a time when children are returning to school after the summer holidays, and there are news reports of the struggle some parents are experiencing in finding the money for school uniforms. But this is just one factor. I met a retired lady the other day who was mourning the fact that her two married children were not going to have children themselves because they feared for the future of the world and didn’t want their offspring to have to face the global and societal issues they were so fearful might happen. So the poor lady was deprived of the opportunity of having grandchildren, something that is such a pleasure. It is not an easy or painless process to bring up children, but this is what God has commanded.

There will, of course, be those in society who lack the sexual urges that Paul was aware of. He himself was obviously able to control them and devoted himself to a life of celibacy so that he could direct his energies into serving the Lord. And he advised the same for those believers who, like him, were on top of managing their own bodies. We know from well-publicised scandals in certain Christian denominations that some ministers do not find themselves in a comfortable place, being celibate. They find, sometimes much later in life, that their terrible actions against members of their congregations become exposed for all to see, and they then suffer the disgrace of public trials and vilification by the society around them. We should note, of course, that the Bible never promotes celibacy as an essential way of life for a minister. Paul may have advised that such a lifestyle choice is an option for some, but it is unnecessary for life in the Kingdom. 

In the end, Paul said there was a choice that men and women can make about their sexual urges. If they can’t be controlled, then the only outlet is marriage. There is no middle ground, involving all sorts of proxy counterfeits, such as prostitution or pornography. There are no grey areas, where a couple live together, abandoning the relationship when the attraction of sex becomes swamped by the other pressures and demands of living with another person. And certainly all the rainbow ideologies of today are totally off-limits, more the result of a devil-inspired society than anything else.

We pilgrims are called to live a life of purity and holiness, and we must always remember that within us dwells the Holy Spirit. We remember the last two verses of the previous chapter in 1 Corinthians 6. Paul wrote, “Don’t you realise that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honour God with your body”. In Romans 12:1-2, Paul also wrote, “And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect”. We may have all sorts of urges within us, but when we look at all that Jesus has done for us, we have no other option than to live a life His way. Paul put his finger right on the issue we face when he wrote, “give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you”. That is what our pilgrim lives are all about. We live a life that is acceptable to God, and we reject the ways of the world. One day, we will find that our dedication and faith will bring us to our Heavenly home, away from everything that the devil has conjured up to destroy God’s people. We stand firm in the face of societal pressures and live our lives God’s way.

Dear Heavenly Father. Please lead us and guide us through this minefield of sexual ideologies that have even penetrated Your holy churches. Please forgive us for our sins, we pray, and please strengthen us for our journey. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

The Gift of Life

Posted on by korgrocker

“Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.”
1 Corinthians 7:5-7 NLT

Paul was obviously celibate, unmarried, and single. His dedication to Jesus and his life were all that mattered to him, and he went through terrible times of physical and mental torment on his missionary journeys. But nothing was going to stop him from propagating the Gospel around the towns, cities, and communities of the Middle East. And if that wasn’t enough, he wrote letters that set out important theology referred to today in what we call the New Testament. Paul was an extraordinary man, God’s messenger to many, and foundational to the early church. But in all that, he had a compassionate and pastoral ministry that provided light and hope for a fellowship of early Christians based in Corinth. The culture and society, in many ways, were sex-based, but Paul cut through all of that with advice, Godly advice at that, about the importance of sexual relationships confined to a marriage alone. However, in response to their questions, he agreed with the Corinthians that, for some, it might be better for them to pursue celibacy, becoming as he was. Paul found great freedom in being fully devoted to Christ, without any distractions, particularly of the sexual kind. However, we note that celibacy is not commanded by God because if it were, the human race would quickly die out. Instead, when it came to matters of serving God, Paul “wished” everyone were single, “just as [he] was”. 

Paul wrote, “Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another”. In the context of this passage of Scripture, he was referring to the gift of singleness, of celibacy, and the gift of marriage. In both cases, this was a God-given gift, but the key is to recognise where God has placed the person involved, who would then have to face the consequences of the decision faithfully. Both marriage and singleness are a calling, and one that should be carefully worked out before God, who supplies the courage and strength required. Paul did not want anyone to try to overcome a God-given desire for sexuality out of a mistaken idea that lifelong abstinence is the best path for every person, in all cases. God has simply given the celibate and the married different gifts, not a lesser purpose. In no way does the Bible suggest unmarried and celibate Christians are more spiritual than married Christians.

This “special gift” referred to by Paul can also be viewed in the context of life itself. Think about it for a moment. Life is granted by God, but when do we thank Him for it? Did we thank Him when we emerged from sleep this morning? Yes, for some, the wakening might be accompanied by pain and suffering, especially if they are struggling with an illness or disability, but life is still there. Nick Vujicic wakes up every morning to face another day without arms and legs. I have a friend who has regular hospital visits for a urological procedure that comes with very painful and debilitating after effects. But God has granted us gifts of life for a reason, because in many ways, life here on this earth is a training ground for what is to come. Paul wrote in Romans 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord”. One day, there will be no more sickness and death, but also no more having to consider sexual matters. Jesus said, “For when the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage. In this respect they will be like the angels in heaven” (Matthew 22:30). Because there will be no more death after we leave this life (Revelation 21:4, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever“), procreation to repopulate Heaven or the New Earth will not be required. 

We pilgrims have been granted many spiritual and natural gifts, but it is pointless just to leave them still wrapped up and unused. God may have given us a wonderful spouse in the gift of marriage, but He might also have given us a gift of being single. But we mustn’t forget that He has given us the gift of life. Jesus said, “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life” (John 10:10). Through Jesus, we have a wonderful life. Let’s not waste it.

Dear Father God. We thank You for our gifts of life and pray You lead and guide us in the best way to use them for Your glory. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Marriage

Posted on by korgrocker

“Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations. But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. The husband should fulfil his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfil her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.”
1 Corinthians 7:1-4 NLT

At the start of chapter 7 in Paul’s epistle, we find that the Corinthian believers had already sent a letter to him containing certain questions. We don’t know what this letter said, it having been lost in the mists of time, but one of the questions must have been concerned with marriage and sexual matters. The way Paul starts this chapter indicates that the letter from the Corinthians might have included a question asking if celibacy was the best way. We know that in this period of Greece’s history, sexual immorality was rampant, with all sorts of deviant behaviour, so for a spiritual believer in that society, total abstinence might have been promoted as being the best response to the many invitations and expectations coming from a society deeply involved in all sorts of sexual acts. But imagine what the impact of being born again, saved to become a believer in Christ, would have had on a new Christian who suddenly realised how the immoral society around him or her looked to God. They must have immediately asked themselves how they could avoid being caught up in such debauchery, particularly as there may have still been some in their fellowship who remained addicted and compliant, attending the orgies and the like. But perhaps some of those new believers had read Psalm 119:9, where the Psalmist asked the question, “How can a young person stay pure? … “, and the same question must have hovered in the hearts and minds of the Corinthian believers. The answer, of course, is in the second half of this verse – “By obeying Your Word” – and I’m sure this is what the believers attempted to do. But was celibacy the right response? Paul continued to set out God’s order for something we call marriage. 

In 1 Corinthians 7:1, Paul wrote, “Each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband”, a simple yet profound definition of marriage. In the Bible, marriage is highlighted as a sacred, lifelong partnership between a man and a woman, which originated in God’s creation and is intended to represent unity and mutual support between the married couple. Marriage is depicted as a partnership where individuals support and strengthen each other, with a strong emphasis on faithfulness, forgiveness, and commitment to one another and to God. It all started in Genesis 2:24, where we read, “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one“. In the concluding chapter of Hebrews, we read, “Give honour to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery” (Hebrews 13:4). In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul clearly set out that sexual relationships must be between a husband and wife, a man and woman in a marriage-based relationship, where the sexual needs of each person are met in a relationship and atmosphere of mutual love, respect and commitment. 

In today’s society, marriage has, to a certain extent, unfortunately lost its meaning, with the norm being a man and a woman just “living together” without any sort of formal commitment. The general feeling is that if things don’t work out, then either person can just walk away from the relationship. If there are children resulting from the liaison, then the feeling is that one of the couple, usually the mother, will just have to do the best they can, bringing up children without the other partner present. But even marriages today are not honoured in the way that God intended, with divorces recorded from about 38% of marriages here in the UK. 

In Mark 10, we read what Jesus said about divorce and marriage. Jesus had been asked by the Pharisees if a man could divorce his wife, in accordance with the Law of Moses, set out in Deuteronomy 24:1-4. Why did they ask this question? We don’t really know, but perhaps they were trying to trip Jesus up, having found an apparent (to them) contradiction in Scripture. Mark 10:5-9, “But Jesus responded, “He wrote this commandment only as a concession to your hard hearts. But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together””. The important point to note from what Jesus said is that no one, meaning either the husband or the wife, or anyone else, should attempt to break up the marriage. 

Marriage and divorce can be very contentious subjects, but for now, the Corinthians were more concerned about the situation with the sexual immorality rife in their society, and what they should do about it. Paul’s answer was clear, and as applicable then as it is today – sexual relationships are good, but only in accordance with God’s order for marriage, between a husband and a wife, in a mutually submissive and loving lifelong relationship. 

Dear Father God. We pray that You would protect our marriages, and for all those who are yet to be married, we pray that You will lead and guide them in Your ways. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Husbands

Posted on by korgrocker

“In the same way, you husbands must give honour to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.”
1 Peter 3:7 NLT

In this very important verse giving advice to Christian husbands, Peter starts with “In the same way”.The same way as what? To answer that we must read again the previous verses and review the intent behind Peter’s words. We read about “godly lives”, “a gentle and quiet spirit”, “trust in God”, and obedience. I’m not sure why Peter felt he had to write to wives over six verses but use just one for husbands. But the picture emerges of a relationship, seasoned by love, sacrifice and commitment. The message to the wives also has some important elements within it for the husbands.

A Christian husband, Peter wrote, must treat his wife with honour and understanding, the more so because Peter thinks she is the weaker member of the dual relationship. And he warns that if the husband doesn’t treat his wife properly, his prayer life will be hindered.

But the key message is around the word “equal”. So often in society, we hear about situations where the wife is very much the weaker, or less significant, or even mistreated member of the partnership, but Peter made clear that this should not be the case. In Galatians 3:28, Paul also made the case for equality. “There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.” We are indeed all equal in God’s sight. In this age of confusion over issues such as gender and feminism, Peter’s age-old advice paints a picture of marriage and life, built and implemented God’s way. 

Biblical marriage is between a man and a woman. There is no other option, in spite of the strident demands of the society in which we live, a stridency that has even persuaded many established churches to abandon what God has decreed and promote a different way. Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, populated the Garden of Eden. And following God’s way in marriage I’m sure brings a smile to His face, as He watches His dear children behave in accordance with His created model for mankind. As we read in Ecclesiastes 4:12, “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”

Dear Father God. A marriage rooted and founded in You can never fail. Thank You. Amen.

Wives

Posted on by korgrocker

“In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives.”
1 Peter 3:1-2 NLT

Peter starts the third chapter of his first epistle with verses offering Godly advice about male and female relationships, particularly in the context of marriage. He starts with some advice for wives, and particularly for those in a marriage with an unbelieving husband. As I write this I can almost feel some people’s hackles starting to rise. Who is this man, Peter, daring to suggest how I should behave in relation to my husband, some of my female readers might be thinking. Of course, some also might say that the culture of Peter’s day was different then, and society in 21st century Planet Earth is very much different. Of course, that is true, but only up to a point. I believe the Holy Spirit inspired timeless truths in Scripture, and so we cannot discard these verses just because we don’t agree with them, or are offended or even challenged by them. 

Why did Peter single out women in the verses he wrote and the ones we are considering today? Part of the answer lies in 1 Peter 3:2, where Peter suggests that the wives’ behaviour will win over unbelieving husbands to the faith. It also should be noted that Peter wrote about husbands, not men generally. Peter wrote that wives should accept the authority of their husbands, but he didn’t say that they should always be obedient to them. If their husbands tried to impose something on to them that was contrary to God’s laws then the higher law would apply. 

The Apostle Paul also wrote about husbands and wives, and he put in the balance for a successful marriage relationship. He wrote in Ephesians 5:22-24, “For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Saviour of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything“. Superficially, that seems a bit one-sided, but Paul adds the following verses, “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. …  In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself” (Ephesians 5:25-26, 28). A blueprint for a successful marriage? I think so. There are more verses to come in 1 Peter 3 about the Holy Spirit’s teaching about husbands and wives. Watch this space!

Dear Father God. We know that marriage was in your plans for mankind right from the beginning. Please help us to stand firm and uphold this Biblical truth. In Jesus’ name. Amen.