Fatherly Instructions

Posted on by korgrocker

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”
Ephesians‬ ‭6:4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Now here’s a novel idea. Bringing up children by applying Biblical principles? Whatever next! But humour aside, here in the UK we live in a society that has lost its way, when it comes to bringing up children. The state is increasingly interfering with the rights of parents to bring up their children in the way they believe best. Social workers, teachers and the NHS, all have their own agendas, which often sacrifice Biblical principles, that have stood the test of time, on the altar of progressive and unproven thinking and theories. For example, in schools children are taught about sexual matters far removed from Biblical principles. Child gender issues abound with so-called experts agonising over the best way forward. If only they opened a Bible, they would find the answers to their dilemmas.

The Bible has a lot to say about bringing up children, both directly but also in an implied way. Way back in Deuteronomy, we read this, “And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up”. (Deuteronomy 6:5-7). The way that we bring up children starts with us. With our own adult relationship with God, with the way we live our Christian lives. Our children look on. They see whether or not we are faking it. They can smell hypocrisy from afar. Parents living a life devoted to God and each other will set our children role models that will shape their own lives. And by so doing, we instruct our children in the ways of the Lord. 

My own children were fortunate enough to have been brought up in a Christian home. That is not to say that my wife and I always got things right. But they were able to watch us resolve our difficulties and move on in the Lord. The church teaching also helped them. I can remember that my daughter, in her High School biology class, challenged her teacher’s evolutionary beliefs, getting her in the end to agree that there was also a case for the creation model. Evolution is taught as fact in UK schools in spite of the difficulties with evolutionary theory that are conveniently glossed over. But that’s a subject for another day.

God is the Father over a large and growing family of children. He sets out the family rules, rules based on His love for His children, rules designed for our good and the good of His family as a whole. The Bible is our Source of discipline and instruction. We do well to read it, distilling out every Divine thought, every loving hint, always praying that our Father will help us in aligning our ways to His ways, our thoughts to His thoughts, our life to His life. And in the process teaching our children to do the same.

Provocation

Posted on by korgrocker

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”
Ephesians‬ ‭6:4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Provoking children. Now what does that look like? It implies behaviour that ridicules, teases, and demeans. Perhaps physical or sexual abuse. Neglect, ignoring them, making them look small in front of their friends. The list is endless. And notice what this verse says. It is the fathers who are told what not to do, not the mothers. The fathers have the responsibility to lead in the family, and particularly in the way their children should be treated. I can remember being in a house where one of my friends was getting a good telling off from his mother. And her rant ended with, “Wait until your father gets home – you’ll know all about it then!”. This was a family that knew where the buck stopped. And no doubt his bottom was rather warmer, after the encounter with his father, than it was before. It is so sad today that so many children grow up without a father figure in their home. A hole in their lives that their mothers do their best to fill, but a hole nevertheless. 

Many adults fail to have a positive and loving relationship with their Heavenly Father because of a bad experience of their own father. They can develop a picture of God that is based on someone who is never there for them, who is a strict and unloving disciplinarian, a misogynist who may be ineffective and laughable, pathetic and to be ignored most of the time. When older, they have to go through a re-learning process of what being a true father is really all about. 

So how should a father treat his children? With love and respect. Always helping them. Teaching them life-skills. Affirming them. Being fair with them. Lovingly disciplining them. Supporting them in their difficulties. Standing up for them when they are being treated unfairly. Spending time with them. Pouring out his love for them. And above all, teaching them God’s ways – how to pray, how to read His Word. Exampling God’s love for them. It is not to say that children will never go on to do wrong, but it will mean that their relationship with their father will prevail in the end.

To be a father is far more than a brief sexual encounter. It involves a life-time commitment, and God’s input to lead him in the right paths.

Obedient Children

Posted on by korgrocker

“Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. “Honour your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honour your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.””
Ephesians‬ ‭6:1-3‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Paul continues his instructions about family life, with this section addressed to children. There are two other possible translations to the first verse, one just simply saying, “Children, obey your parents”, and the other “Children, obey your parents who belong to the Lord”. But I like the way the NLT translates today’s verse because it implies that children have a special place in God’s family; they belong to the Lord regardless of their situation or family background. Hopefully, these junior pilgrims, our children, find it easy to be obedient to their parents, with a relationship of love and respect laying a foundation for them. Sadly, so many families today are dysfunctional, lacking a moral compass, sometimes blighted by drugs and alcohol, domestic strife common. And increasingly, children are growing up in a home where one of their parents is missing. There can be so many factors that conspire to make obedience difficult or impossible for children. My wife and I know – we fostered children for many years. But we found over and over again that if a child can be given a secure, warm and loving family, then they will thrive and move into adulthood better equipped for continuing the way God has marked out for them.

The instruction from Paul goes on to quote Exodus 20:12, “Honour your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you”. It’s there in the Ten Commandments, sandwiched between taking a Sabbath rest and not murdering anyone. And Paul repeated God’s instruction, given to Moses so many years before, that honouring parents is a fundamental ingredient in living life to the full. It is there in the family home that children find honour, respect and love, grace and compassion, qualities that will stand them in good stead in their lives ahead. 

Both my parents have now passed on to a new life with God. I will always be grateful for their love and commitment to me in my formative years. Their example, honouring their own parents, filtered down into my own life. And they continued to stand with me through the difficult years as I transitioned from childhood into adulthood. Even when they were grandparents, their influence continued. 

We thank God for our parents. Families are modelled on God’s family and we honour too our parents in the Lord, our ministers and pastors. And particularly we obey and honour God our Heavenly Father. Where would we be without Him!

Marriage

Posted on by korgrocker

“For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord.”
“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her”.
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5:22, 25‬ ‭NLT‬‬

We can’t lift Ephesians 5:22 out of this Scripture passage, taking it out of context. Some have attempted to do this in the past, with disastrous consequences. But in the misogynistic society in Paul’s day, a wife’s place was often little better than a servant’s. Even today, some Middle-Eastern countries still have the same cultural expectations. So as the letter to the Ephesians was being read out, you can just imagine the emotions and thoughts that would have been swirling around in people’s minds. Often people hear only what they want to hear, and verse 22 perhaps resonated in a male mind, leading to a confrontation between a husband and wife when they returned home, verse 25 forgotten or ignored.

There is something special about a God-ordained and God-focused relationship. In a marriage, both the man and woman have their own particular roles. Roles designed by God, who clearly understood how marriages will work. And we find that successful, life-long, marriages have in place a mutual love and commitment, that weathers all the storms of life. That is not to say the lives together have all been easy, but the husband and wife have worked through issues together.

The marital model Paul wrote about, as captured by our verses today, is based, first and foremost, on a husband loving his wife, in such a way that it mirrors the sacrificial love Jesus had, and still has, for His church. A husband lays down his life for the sake of his wife. That means he puts her needs first. He looks after her, giving her protection and security, dealing with any marital issues with compassion and leadership. In return, the wife uses her experience of submission to Jesus as the basis of her submission to her husband. In the issues of life, the marital love-submission model concludes with the husband making the final decisions, but in reality, such conclusions are jointly made.

So what does today’s pilgrim make of marriage? The image of a lonely single man or woman walking the paths of life, facing into whatever dangers and difficulties are around the next corner, is somehow softened by two pilgrims, hand in hand, helping each other through whatever is before them. There is a Scripture that, in the end, defines a successful outcome to the pilgrimage, all obstacles resolved. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 reads, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken”. The secret lies in the third cord. Though a man and woman can weather many of the storms of life together, the addition of a third Person makes the marriage invincible. A couple who are close to God inevitable end up closer to each other. They pray together. They worship Him together. And in times of discord and disagreement, coming before God with the issues will result in a remedy. With God being the most important Person in the marriage, it cannot fail to succeed. 

Submission

Posted on by korgrocker

“And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
Ephesian 5:21

Here’s a difficult verse. At the very mention of the word “submission” people’s hackles start to rise. We ask ourselves did Paul really get this right. Did he really mean that we should submit to someone else in the church family, perhaps someone who might be younger or less experienced than us? Mutual submission is an important component in church unity, because it takes out the “it’s all about me” factor. Instead, selfishness is replaced by an appreciation that, regardless of how we perceive another person, we treat them with respect and courtesy, listening to what they have to say and considering it carefully. After all, what they say could be the Holy Spirit speaking through them. A poet called John Donne is reputed to have written, “No man is an island, entire of itself“. And that is particular true in our church communities – we individually don’t have all the knowledge and abilities required to build the church. Corrie Ten Boom once said (my paraphrase), “I can do things that you cannot, and you can do things that I cannot. But together we can do great things for God“. And that is really the essence of why we must submit to each other. The church model where the minister does everything and the congregation sit in the pews will never be able to build the church of Jesus Christ. As we submit to one another, different gifts and abilities come together and generate a powerful community. 

But there are two other phrases in the verse worth considering. The first is “one another”. This two word phrase crops up about 100 times in the New Testament, and almost always in a context of relationships. How we relate to each other in extremely important. Modern television presents a corrupted view of relationships, with fighting, verbal abuse, suspicion, manipulation, lies, slander, divorce, and gossip as the norm. But as God’s “one anothers” we know a better way. A way based on love and mutual submission. A way of looking out for one other, helping one another, praying for one another, being a true “one another” to our Christian brothers and sisters.

And then we have a second phrase in this verse that is very important. That is, we submit to one another “out of reverence for Christ“. We submit to one another because Jesus wants us to. That’s good enough for me.

Giving Thanks

Posted on by korgrocker

“Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
Ephesians‬ ‭5:18-20‬ ‭NLT

Paul wrote that we should give thanks for everything. Hang on a minute – everything? For that unexpected bill that has just fallen through the letter box? For the dressing down we have just had from the boss? Surely he meant just the good things that have happened to us. 

Perhaps the key words are “in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ”. Why should Jesus’ name matter? In faith we should call on Jesus with a thankful heart, grateful for the good things that we have experienced and in faith that He will come through for us when bad things are in danger of overwhelming us. Paul wrote in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, “Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ“. God wants us to be a thankful people. Not people who look at their circumstances and go down the tubes, ending up in misery and depression. 

Pilgrims look at, and live in, the world around them. The bad news is that faith in Jesus, being a Christian, will not prevent the problems rolling in. After all, Jesus said in John 16:33,“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in Me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” 

So we can give thanks in everything, because even when the bills are stacking up, when inflation is eroding our income, when sickness is dragging us down, we know that through Jesus we have the strength to overcome them all. So in faith-filled prayer we present our needs to Jesus and thank Him that the answers are coming. The scoffers and cynics dismiss our faith as just a deluded form of escapism and predict our ruin. But the God I worship made a promise to me – in Philippians 4:19 we read, “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus”. God has more than enough resources to go round and He knows what we need.

God will sometimes have other plans for us. I love the story in Daniel where the Jewish lads refused to bow down before a statue of Nebuchadnezzar. We read in Daniel 3:17-18, “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty. But even if he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up“. There is a dear young Christian woman I know who lost her husband, at the age of 37, to cancer. Two young children under 5. How will she ever be able to thank God in her circumstances? I don’t have an answer other than we live in a sinful world and the devil’s wickedness will take its course. But I do know that our loving Heavenly Father is there for her and will provide for her. And one day He will wipe away her tears. Sometimes the answer to our prayers won’t be realised until we are in God’s presence.

So the brotherhood (and sisterhood) of pilgrims walk on together, our eternal home in sight. And together with thankful hearts we reach out to our loving Heavenly Father, secure in our status as sons and daughters of the greatest family that there has ever been.

Singing Spiritual Songs

Posted on by korgrocker

“Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5:18-20‬ ‭NLT

Paul continues with the thought that being “filled with the Holy Spirit” leads on, in a natural way, to singing. But not any old song. There is no value in worldly songs with their inane lyrics. Paul’s world of song included Psalms and Hymns. Songs of the Spirit. God-songs. There is something about singing spiritual songs that leads to a connection to God. Almost as though spiritual songs are keys that unlock the door into God’s presence, into His zone. 

One of the keys to a successful spiritual song, in my opinion, is spontaneity. Singing a well worn hymn can of course be a blessing. There is something special about being in the presence of strong singers belting out “Thine Be the Glory” or “Praise My Soul the King of Heaven”. Or joining with the choirs of the terraces in the hymn “Abide with Me”. But a soulish response is only part of the way into the God-zone. It is far better to allow the infilling of the Holy Spirit to lead to a spiritual response. It might be in our native tongues. But it might too be in the Heavenly language that is ours for the asking (1 Corinthians 14, particularly 14:15). And in the process of aligning our spirits with God something significant happens. I have been in worship services that have continued for an hour or two, lead by the Holy Spirit into Heavenly places, all sense of time abandoned. 

How creative are we with “making music to the Lord in [our] hearts”? We probably say we don’t have a clue where to start. But it’s uncanny that repeating a phrase from a Psalm, or some prayer we have made up, can lead on to the development of a melody. Just a simple tune. It may not even be anything original. But before we know it the music welling up in our hearts connects with the Lord. Amazing. And the Author-Composer turns out to be the Holy Spirit, who we have just been filled by. 

As pilgrims we must never gloss over this verse written by Paul. He knew all about what he was writing. He too was a pilgrim and I can just imaging him singing his heart out in that prison cell, driving his guards nuts. But he wouldn’t have been bothered by that – he was in the God-zone. And we can join him there, from wherever we are. Or in whatever we are doing.

Being Filled

Posted on by korgrocker

“Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
Ephesians‬ ‭5:18-20‬ ‭NLT

What was in Paul’s mind when he compared an alcohol-induced drunkenness with an infilling of the Holy Spirit? Was he implying that the same “high” could be achieved with the Holy Spirit? Whatever his thoughts, the comparison is striking – the destructive effects of alcohol as against the constructive effects of living a life filled with the Holy Spirit. 

What does it mean to “be filled with the Holy Spirit”. Apparently the original meaning was that we must be continually filled with the Holy Spirit. Just as the effects of alcohol will disappear from our bodies, so too will the impact of the Holy Spirit, as we use His power within our daily lives. But there the analogy must end because there is no real comparison. 

The Bible is rich with verses extolling the benefits of a life filled with the Holy Spirit. For example, Galatians 5:22-23 reads, “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control…“. We need the Holy Spirit to help us in our pilgrimage through life – don’t we just! As we encounter daily interactions with those around us, being filled with the Spirit can make the difference between worldly and Godly responses. As we constantly give of our emotional and spiritual resources to those around us, we need to constantly call upon the Holy Spirit to replenish us with His power.

Jesus taught His disciples much about the Holy Spirit – one such example was in John 14:16-17, “And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth…”. “Truth” is something much lacking in life today, as it was in the First Century. During Jesus’ mock trial, Pontius Pilate himself confessed to not knowing what truth was (John 18:38). But through the power of the Holy Spirit we know the Truth that matters. 

Part of my testimony is about the time I saw Christians working together and relating with each other in a community setting. They had something shining through them, that I now know was the outworking of the Holy Spirit, filling their lives. And I have over the years experienced help and love from other Christians, many of whom I hardly knew, but who have ministered to my situation through the power of the Holy Spirit.

So on our life-pilgrimage we too have an obligation to obey Paul’s call to “be filled with the Holy Spirit”. Daily getting on our knees before Him, asking for more of His presence and resources in our lives. Father, fill us afresh today, we pray, and again tomorrow, and again … Amen.

Getting Drunk

Posted on by korgrocker

“Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
Ephesians‬ ‭5:18-20‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Drunkenness. As Paul wrote, it ruins lives. But not only the lives of the drunk but the lives of those in their families and communities. Health destroyed. Destitution probable. The future for an alcoholic is bleak except for the fact that there is a loving Heavenly Father. There are many testimonies from men and women who have found healing and a new life through the power of the Holy Spirit, prayer and care leading to salvation and freedom. And it started with a pilgrim introducing a drunk to Jesus. But from those who don’t find God, the slippery slope can end in an early death with the final years blighted by illness and misery. I know because that is what happened to my sister-in-law. 

On my early morning prayer walks, there is a man I occasionally meet who is an alcoholic. The ravages of drink are clearly visible in his face. His unsteadiness on his feet, even first thing in the morning, betrays a legacy of inebriation. He is usually locked into his own world, but I try and speak with him, desperately trying to find common ground over which we can walk and talk together. Always looking for an opportunity to share the love of God. One day, when he was more lucid than usual, he opened up and shared how he would love to get a job. But in the natural world he was a reject. A man to be managed, rather than helped, by the society around him. But in God’s kingdom there is a place for him. God will never turn away a repentant sinner. I’ll keep trying to introduce him to the love and forgiveness of God. And I’ll pray for him in the meantime.

A dear lady I know is a very committed Christian in a family blighted by alcohol and drug addiction. It’s a family where misery and devastation is constantly knocking at the door. She is a lung cancer survivor but suffers from constant ill-health. Her brother, a lovely Christian man who I once had the privilege of knowing, died in his forties from lung cancer – he was a very heavy smoker. Her husband, died young, what of I don’t know because she doesn’t speak of him. This lady had four children – three boys and a girl – but sadly in the past year or so the two oldest boys have died in their forties of substance misuse – alcohol and drugs. A family destroyed. A family devastated.

So Paul was right when he advised not to get drunk on wine. I would add to his list beer, and anything else containing alcohol, while we’re at it. And I’m sure if drugs were available in his day he would have been writing about them as well. He wasn’t advocating teetotalism. He was just saying that we must stop drinking wine before we get drunk. I personally have no objection to drinking wine. It can be a pleasant companion to a good meal. Or perhaps something that would be appropriate in a social setting. But like many things in life, an alcoholic beverage is good in small quantities, dangerous if taken to excess. And potential addiction is always lurking in dark corners.

As pilgrims in our societies, moving slowly but surely through the corridors of life, alcohol will never be far away. Premises dispensing alcohol are ubiquitous, at least in Western societies. So as Christians we cannot avoid contact with drinks that contain alcohol. Of course, we can exercise our right to free choice, and replace them with soft drinks. And alcohol-free wines and beers (and even gin I understand) is available. Drunkenness is a dark place for many but we can shine our light into the lives of needy people who have been seduced by an alcohol-fuelled lifestyle. We can show a better way. And we can share God’s love and compassion with people who have been left to their fates by institutions and governments who seem powerless or unwilling to get involved in their misery. 

Paul goes on to write about being filled with the Holy Spirit, but more of that in tomorrow’s blog.

Be Careful

Posted on by korgrocker

“So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.‭‭
Ephesians‬ ‭5:15-17‬ ‭NLT

I’m sure we all take care in the way we live. After all, we are wired to keep ourselves safe from danger, and that basic instinct increases, and becomes more important somehow, as we get older. But there are adrenalin junkies who take on incredible tasks, performing feats of courage and ignoring danger. I’m thinking of people like mountain climbers, or single-handed Atlantic rowers. Perhaps those who fly hang gliders or head for the breakers to surf their way ashore. There are also those who engage in more insidious tasks, taking illicit drugs of unknown content or purity, or those who deliberately head for temptation, trying to determine how strong they really are.

But this is a worldly perspective. As Christian pilgrims, we take seriously Paul’s instructions about the way we live. Not for us the way of fools, exploring places where we should never go. Instead we must seek out the ways of wisdom. True wisdom has its source in God. In James 1:5, we read, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking”. There is another helpful verse in James 3:17,  “But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favouritism and is always sincere”. Following this advice will help us live like wise pilgrims.

In our verse today, Paul continues by encouraging us to make the most of our lives. He was right, when he wrote this Epistle, by discerning that the days were evil. And our days in the 21st Century are still evil. Nothing has changed over the centuries. The media is full of reports of crime, drug taking, wars and so on. An evil world where our enemy, the devil, prowls around causing mayhem and distress. An evil world where sin is endemic. But as we read in a recent blog, we are light in this dark and evil world, and must be opportunistic in shining our light into dark places. We must be counter-cultural pilgrims walking against the tide of those of humanity who are sadly and unknowingly heading for a lost eternity. And we must be diligent in aligning our lives to the true Way, avoiding the false and evil ways of darkness. Thinking clearly. Remaining focused on our assignment, doing God’s work. True in His service.