“You have had enough in the past of the evil things that godless people enjoy—their immorality and lust, their feasting and drunkenness and wild parties, and their terrible worship of idols. Of course, your former friends are surprised when you no longer plunge into the flood of wild and destructive things they do. So they slander you.”
1 Peter 4:3-4 NLT
Friendships develop wherever people meet. At school, college or university. In the workplace. In the gym or at a sporting event. An endless list, but there is something implicit within humans that naturally makes friendships. A common factor is often the lifestyle or interests of the people who meet. I can remember making friends with a lad at school who had similar interests to me. We took apart an old valve portable radio to see if we could repair it. We failed, unfortunately, but forged a friendship in the process. We human beings are relational people and it is very rare to find someone who can be fully satisfied with just their own company.
Peter wrote that friendships made while enjoying a mutual debauched lifestyle would not survive if one of the friends became a Christian. Straight away, the bonds that previously sustained the relationship would cease to exist, because the believing friend would stop doing the things that previously held them together. A friendship founded on a shaky foundation of course, and one that could not survive for long if the mutual focus was removed. In Peter’s letter, “godless people” were enjoying wild living that was inherently sinful. They enjoyed a hedonistic leisure time, seeking enjoyment by sinful means. Peter was writing to believers who were once part of this lifestyle and who were now being slandered by their “former friends”. I’m sure many of us pilgrims who became believers in adulthood, know exactly how they would have felt.
The Christian faith is counter-cultural and those who are not believers resent what being a Christian means. Worldly people know of course what is right and what is wrong. There is enough of God within them through their consciences to discern the difference. So when they find someone they know, who was perhaps quite close to them, and who has decided to turn their back on their mutual lifestyles of parties and drinking, of “immorality and lust”, and other sinful ways, they resent them. Their believing friend becomes a former friend because what had united them has been removed.
Jesus had friends. We can read about them in John 15. It’s in that wonderful chapter where Jesus describes Himself as the True Vine. He expresses His love for His disciples, a love that isn’t natural in form and content, but it is the same love which Jesus’s Father loves Him with. John 15:9, “I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love“. And verse 12 continues, “This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you“. Then, in John 15:14-15 we read, “You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me“.
We can only aspire to be friends with Jesus if we are prepared to do what he has asked us to do, which is to love our friends as Jesus has loved us. I’m sure we agree that if our former friends, those who are still living a sinful lifestyle, are slandering us, it will be difficult to love them as Jesus loves us. But that is the mark of a Christian. To love the unlovely. To love our enemies. To have compassion on those heading for a lost eternity. In our own strength we have no chance of fulfilling this commandment. But with God’s help it is very possible. When slandered by the Jewish authorities, Jesus didn’t respond. Instead, He even prayed for the men who were hammering the nails into His hands and feet. That’s love.
Dear Father God. Please help us to befriend those who cause us harm. By so doing we do Your will. Amen.
