Loneliness – Being a Pilgrim

“Turn to me and have mercy, for I am alone and in deep distress. My problems go from bad to worse. Oh, save me from them all! Feel my pain and see my trouble. Forgive all my sins.”
Psalm 25:16-18 NLT

Loneliness is a terrible place to be. It is something that afflicts too many people, who may be surrounded by their family, friends and neighbours, but lack any meaningful contact with any of them. I recently came across an elderly woman sitting on a seat in the town centre, her walker cum shopping trolley next to her, but she was staring blankly into the distance. I wished her a cheery “good morning” and this unleashed a tale of distress about her life of being alone. She had mobility issues and had struggled to get there after a short bus journey. She was almost marooned in a first floor flat without a lift and her neighbours had no time for her. There was no family close by and she was facing into an uncertain future, lonely and miserable. Her situation is not unique by a long way and there are many in the UK today just like her. Just this morning I came across a man sitting on a park bench, seemingly impervious to the cold wind. He seemed to be in a lonely other-world and only briefly returned my greeting before lapsing back into his musings. God once said to me that sometimes all He wants me to do is to say “Good Morning” to someone when out on my daily walks. An opportunity to share God’s Gospel of hope will perhaps come later.

David confessed to being alone in spite of all the people around him. At least at this point in his life when he wrote Psalm 25 he seemed to lack the companionship of someone like Jonathan, King Saul’s son. We read about the start of his friendship in 1 Samuel 18:1, 3, “After David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan, the king’s son. There was an immediate bond between them, for Jonathan loved David. … And Jonathan made a solemn pact with David, because he loved him as he loved himself”. The next few chapters in 1 Samuel provide a story of an increasingly unstable Saul and how Jonathan tried to mitigate the attacks against David. And then in 1 Samuel 31:2 we read, “The Philistines closed in on Saul and his sons, and they killed three of his sons—Jonathan, Abinadab, and Malkishua“. David was devastated, as we can expect. 2 Samuel 1:11-12, “David and his men tore their clothes in sorrow when they heard the news. They mourned and wept and fasted all day for Saul and his son Jonathan, and for the Lord’s army and the nation of Israel, because they had died by the sword that day“.‭‭ After Jonathan, David never really seemed to build a friendship with anyone, and here he is lamenting in Psalm 25 about being lonely. He grumbles to God, “Feel my pain and see my trouble“.

Loneliness was something God wanted mankind to avoid right from the beginning of His creation. Genesis 2:18, “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him“”. Adam was never going to be lonely with God and Eve blessing his life. In those idyllic days in the Garden, God used to walk with Adam and Eve in the coolness of the evening (Genesis 3:8) but note that because of sin, that custom ceased, and Adam and Eve had the potential to become lonely. The devil has tormented mankind ever since the Fall, to fuel his intention to destroy and abuse anything to do with God. Loneliness is one of the ways in which he causes distress to mankind.

Jesus experienced loneliness, but for a different reason because He often withdrew to desolate places to pray. In those times He communed with His Father in Heaven. However, Jesus’ final loneliness appeared when He was crucified. It was there, pinned to a Roman cross, taking onto Himself the sins of the whole world, that His Father turned His back on His only Son. We read, “Then at three o’clock Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” which means “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?”” (Mark 15:34). But that loneliness experience was not for long because Jesus said, “Yes, I came from the Father into the world, and now I will leave the world and return to the Father” (John 16:28), and then, “Men of Galilee,” they said, “why are you standing here staring into heaven? Jesus has been taken from you into heaven, but someday he will return from heaven in the same way you saw him go!” (Act 1:11).

We pilgrims will never be lonely because of Jesus. He is the Friend who sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24), and He has promised never to leave us. Matthew 28:20b, “ … And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age“. Every time we sit down to pray there is a minimum of four people there – God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit, and ourselves. Feeling lonely today? Then pick up the phone and call a dear friend, or call Jesus Himself. He is alive and waiting your call.

Dear Lord Jesus. Thank You for always being close to us, an ever present Help in times of trouble and loneliness. Help us to look around for those who are lonely and neglected, so that we can bring the sunshine of Your hope into their lives. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling.
God sets the lonely in families,
He leads out the prisoners with singing;
but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.”
Psalms‬ ‭68:5-6‬ ‭NIVUK‬‬

In this Psalm, the author, David, puts his finger on two people groups who were social outcasts in his day. Orphans and widows. In a society without a social security safety net, these people were vulnerable to abuse and injustice. In His time spent with God up the mountain, Moses particularly highlighted and wrote about those people in his society who were in need (Deuteronomy 10:18), and David repeats the principle in these verses. The verses we are reading today declare that God would provide for the orphans and widows. In those days, begging was a common way of receiving provision, as well as the expectation that friends, neighbours and the wealthy, would show favour to those in need. But as we read from Jesus’ words in the Gospels, caring for the disadvantaged was an aspiration rather than a realisation.

Today there are still orphans and widows. But the responsibility for looking after them has shifted from members of society to the state, with the provision of benefits for those in need, or foster homes for the orphaned. Progress? Perhaps. But we still have a responsibility, as Christians, to look out for those people in our society who are disadvantaged. Being a friend to the lonely. Keeping an eye on that elderly widow lady next door, doing her shopping or cutting her grass. And through us, God will look after those in social need. But is this an aspiration rather than a realisation? It’s up to us to turn it into a reality.

But what about the prisoners? From what were they being set free? We are all prisoners of something, to a greater or lesser extent. Many things can imprison us. Lack of finance. Mental and physical illness. Disabilities. Loneliness. Abusive neighbours. Lack of education. Substance abuse. The list is endless. But David says that through God we can be set free from the incarceration we experience. We can rise above our cells of misery and want. We can look up through the bars and see our loving Heavenly Father, and be filled with a new song of joy and freedom. One of my favourite Scriptures is Isaiah 40, and the last verse reads, “but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Through God we can soar into Heavenly places, elevated from our bi-dimensional existence.

Finally, there is a sad side to these verses. The last part of verse 6 mourns the fact that those who have rebelled against God, by rejecting or ignoring Him, will have to live in a dry and hot place. Is this a prophetic muse about the time to come, when those who have rejected God will spend eternity in the place of their default choice?

But back to the message in these verses. As God’s servants on this planet we have a responsibility to look after those less fortunate than ourselves. And when we do so we too will have song in our hearts.