Being Engaged

Posted on by korgrocker

“But if a man thinks that he’s treating his fiancée improperly and will inevitably give in to his passion, let him marry her as he wishes. It is not a sin. But if he has decided firmly not to marry and there is no urgency and he can control his passion, he does well not to marry. So the person who marries his fiancée does well, and the person who doesn’t marry does even better.”
1 Corinthians 7:36-38 NLT

In these closing verses of 1 Corinthians 7, Paul is addressing the situation that applied to engaged couples. He still emphasised his belief that marriage is second best to being single, but only from the perspective that singleness avoids the distractions that marriage brings. The culture in Paul’s day in Greece was different from today, when it comes to such things as engagements. In those days, a woman had very few rights, and her father would have wielded much influence over her marital status and the engagement to her future husband. Being a believer had the potential to change much of the process because it brought God’s perspective into the relationship, present and future. Today, in 21st-century Western society, being engaged to be married remains a significant step towards the future of two people, a man and a woman, as they spend the rest of their lives together. Still, it means little in many cases because such an engagement is easily broken. But things change today when an engagement happens between a Christian man and a Christian woman. The couple would probably have met in church, perhaps at a youth meeting, or in a singles group, and the bigger churches may have in place a “Preparation for Marriage” course. Pastoral support would have helped and supported parental advice, and the build-up to the big day, when the bride walked down the aisle towards her groom, would have been complete.

Being engaged to be married starts with two people making a promise to each other. The promise forms a commitment and provides the future couple with the opportunity to make plans and preparations. Subjects discussed and agreed upon range from the mundane, such as the colour of the bedding, to the subject of having a family and how to raise them. Change and compromise will be involved, so that when the day arrives, there are no nasty shocks, such as happened to a young woman I knew who found out on her honeymoon that her husband was a drug dealer. As we would expect, it was a major disappointment for her, and she quickly returned to her parents’ home, devastated, her world and future in ruins.

There is a marriage parallel with being a believer. God has made promises to His children which He will never break, and those promises will come together with the Church becoming the Bride of Christ. Isaiah 62:4-5, “Never again will you be called “The Forsaken City” or “The Desolate Land.” Your new name will be “The City of God’s Delight” and “The Bride of God,” for the Lord delights in you and will claim you as his bride. Your children will commit themselves to you, O Jerusalem, just as a young man commits himself to his bride. Then God will rejoice over you as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride“. In this context, Isaiah was referring to the Jews, God’s chosen people, but in the New Testament we read, “For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Saviour of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything” (Ephesians 5:22-23). And then we read about the Wedding Feast of the Lamb in Revelation 19:7-9, “Let us be glad and rejoice, and let us give honour to him. For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb, and his bride has prepared herself. She has been given the finest of pure white linen to wear.” For the fine linen represents the good deeds of God’s holy people. And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding feast of the Lamb.” And he added, “These are true words that come from God””.

Finally, we must turn to the Book of Songs, a rather explicit, even mildly erotic, account of the King and his betrothal to a young woman. How did this book find its way into the Canon of Scripture? In answering this question, we cannot ignore the fact that this love poem between a man and a woman is only there because God wants it to be, and we have to look at its application as being a “type” of the intimate relationship between Christ and His church, His bride. In a significant sense, we pilgrims are a part of the Bride of Christ, engaged to be married, and we will one day take our seats at the Marriage Feast of the Lamb. Isaiah wrote, “I am overwhelmed with joy in the Lord my God! For he has dressed me with the clothing of salvation and draped me in a robe of righteousness. I am like a bridegroom dressed for his wedding or a bride with her jewels” (Isaiah 61:10). We have our wedding clothes already prepared, and these were given to us at the Cross of Calvary, where we repented of our sins. We have been saved from the punishment our sins deserved, and, more, we have been given Jesus’ righteousness as a cloak to enable us to stand before God, pure and spotless, a suitable bride for our Bridegroom, Jesus. It all reads like a fairy tale, but that is not what it is. The reality is that God made a promise to us through Jesus, who is the ultimate Bridegroom, because He laid down His life for the sake of His bride. Too good to be true? Too good not to be!

Dear Father God. To be a part of Your Son’s bride and being able one day to partake of the wedding feast is beyond all that we can ever expect in this life. And so we are deeply thankful, worshipping before You once again. Amen.

Divided Interests

Posted on by korgrocker

“I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.”
1 Corinthians 7:32-35 NLT

Was Paul correct with his advice concerning the distractions of marriage? After all, marriage is an ordained feature of human life, and in its most basic sense, it is intended to continue the human race. However, anyone reading these verses can draw several conclusions that all perhaps point to marriage being something second-best for a Christian. For example, Paul wrote that an unmarried man can spend his time being devoted to serving God. Being married just gets in the way because it comes with “earthly responsibilities” and divides the man’s interests between those of marriage and those of Christian service. Paul continued with much the same theme for a married woman, referring to her “earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband”. It is interesting also to see from Paul’s words that an unmarried woman “can be devoted to the Lord” and is “holy in body and in spirit”, something that implies that a married woman lacks the same holiness. It’s all a bit confusing at first sight and something that needs much prayer to discern what the Spirit is saying, not least to someone who is considering marriage, or is already married and wants to know how he or she could avoid “divided interests”. But we note that the main issue that concerned Paul was about distractions. He wrote, “I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible”. 

As a pilgrim today, getting the right balance between the Lord’s work and our earthly lives is very important. Too many Christians are passive believers, happy to attend church on a Sunday, or even the weekly prayer meeting, but do little else to further the Gospel or do anything else that serves God. Is that a bit harsh and judgmental? Possibly, but I have no one in mind except myself. Each believer has to get before God and ask Him what He wants them to do, and then make sure that they are obedient to His call. Paul was intent on furthering the Gospel in his day and was totally sold out to God in that process. Although we are not all Pauls, God has provided each one of us with something that He can use for His service. We read the parable of the three servants in Matthew 25, and note that each of the servants was entrusted with a sum of money while their master was away on a long journey. The important point to note was that each servant was given the money “in proportion to their abilities”. What the three servants did with their money we can read in Matthew 25:16-18, “The servant who received the five bags of silver began to invest the money and earned five more. The servant with two bags of silver also went to work and earned two more. But the servant who received the one bag of silver dug a hole in the ground and hid the master’s money”. Note that Jesus made no mention of servants who were given nothing, with the implication being that all servants would have had something to invest. Elsewhere in Scripture we read “God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another” (1 Peter 4:10). We should also note that God does not expect more from what he has given us than is possible for us to give. Therefore, the servant with two bags of silver was not expected to return five bags. 

So, on the premise that God has given each of us something to invest in His Kingdom, what are we doing with what He has entrusted to us? To Paul, marriage would have seriously curtailed his ability to freely roam around the Middle East on his missionary journeys, because he would have to consider his wife in all his plans. However, on the other hand, a prominent figure in Jesus’ band of disciples was Peter, who was a married man (see Matthew 8:14). We also know that Moses, one of Israel’s most outstanding leaders, was married. So, referring to Jesus’ parable of the three servants, perhaps Paul was a “five bags of silver” servant, and his diligence in investing that gift can be found both in the New Testament through his letters and in churches planted all over the Middle East. So how many “bags of silver” has God entrusted to us? We all will have at least one bag, and consequently, we need to invest it in God’s service.

Paul realised that the believers in Corinth would have been either married or not, and he set out a higher call for God’s people there, that being the importance of “serving the Lord” in the best way possible. That call is still reverberating today, counter-culturally balancing the worldly distractions that are constantly being applied to us pilgrims. We are not all called to become missionaries, heading off to a foreign land to preach the Gospel to a heathen nation. But we are called to a mission field amongst our families and friends, who desperately need to hear the Gospel.

Dear Father God. Please clarify our gifting so that we can do Your work diligently wherever You have called us. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Many Troubles

Posted on by korgrocker

“But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin. However, those who get married at this time will have troubles, and I am trying to spare you those problems. But let me say this, dear brothers and sisters: The time that remains is very short. So from now on, those with wives should not focus only on their marriage. Those who weep or who rejoice or who buy things should not be absorbed by their weeping or their joy or their possessions. Those who use the things of the world should not become attached to them. For this world as we know it will soon pass away.”
1 Corinthians 7:28-31 NLT

Marriage is not a sin, wrote Paul, but because of the times, he said that those who do go ahead and get married will have “many troubles”. Were there any different challenges for married people in those days compared with those faced by married people today? Probably not, although the “troubles” would be of a different nature. Since the beginning of time, a marriage has taken place between a man and woman because of the strength of the love bond. Still, in this Biblical context, we are considering marriage between a believing man and woman, although the principles apply to all marriages. In Ephesians 5, Paul wrote about mutual submission, as Paul wrote in Ephesians 5:21, “And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ“. In the following few verses, Paul’s instructions about mutual love and submission include references to Christ Himself. “For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Saviour of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her” (Ephesians 5:22-25). And he finished the chapter by writing, “So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (Ephesians 5:33). 

At wedding ceremonies held in church, the passage about love from 1 Corinthians 13 is often included. Remember what it says? The part frequently emphasised is, “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). The love referred to by Paul is the most critical kind, agape love. A definition of agape is that it is “an ancient Greek term for a selfless, unconditional, and sacrificial form of love, often considered the highest type of love in Christianity. It emphasises commitment to the good of another, regardless of their actions or any personal gain, embodying a profound love for God and fellow humans that persists through all circumstances“. In the marriage environment, an agape love is needed because two people with different and unbending agendas can otherwise cause the “many troubles” to be amplified, with unwanted consequences. Peter knew about this kind of love as well when he wrote, “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8).

But what about the “many troubles”? We who are married know all about them, and the relationship can become toxic if Biblical principles are not applied. It is a wonder that sinful human beings stay married at all, particularly those who are unbelievers, until we realise that every person, man or woman, has been made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27, “So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them”). How does that work out in a sinful and evil society? Often with great difficulty, because the devil loves to see marriages break up, but God’s qualities of love, righteousness and justice will prevail in any relationship. The troubles in a marriage can come between two people with different points of view, as they face external pressures such as a lack of finances, difficulty in finding suitable housing, and families, followed by health challenges, diets, and all types of preferences, some important but others relatively trivial. Most of these issues are best sorted during a courting period, but many couples rush headlong into a relationship before considering the consequences. Near where I live, there is a single man, now in his forties, who lives on his own with his dog, quite content with his singleness. But he shared with me one day that he had nearly got married and had even paid for all the expensive items, including a lavish honeymoon, before the enormity of what he was doing suddenly frightened him, and he walked away from the relationship. He has never dated a woman since. There are also anecdotal stories of couples who decide not to proceed with marriage after visiting a furniture store, such as IKEA, and their differences in taste lead to strife and the realisation that there is much to be resolved between them.

“Many troubles”? There are indeed many, too many to list here, but for sinful human beings, troubles in a marriage are inevitable. There is only one way to a successful marriage, and that is through mutual love, submission and respect. Together, and with God at the centre of their relationship, all troubles can be overcome.

Dear Father God. You ordained the sacrament of Holy Matrimony for a reason, because that is what You have desired for Your children. We pray that Your perfect arrangement prevails in our lives and the lives of our families. And we pray for all those we know who may be considering marriage or who wish to stay ummarried, that You will continue to love and bless them in their choice. In Your precious name. Amen.

About Virgins

Posted on by korgrocker

“Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.”
1 Corinthians 7:25-28 NIVUK

Paul’s assessment of the Corinthian church was that there was a “crisis” there, and in the context of this chapter, this referred to issues related to sexual matters. Marriage, sexual immorality, societal attitudes, idolatry, virginity, and celibacy were all wrapped up in a potpourri of challenges that had caused Paul to devote much time and energy to try to unravel what was going on. There were unmarried people, virgins,  who had never had any sexual relations with anyone, and Paul was concerned for them. He didn’t have any specific, God-given guidance for them, but he did have some thoughts based on his own experiences. He referred to himself as being a person “who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy”, something that both the Corinthians and we would endorse. Paul was putting much weight on his advice, an indication that the situation in Corinth had become a distraction and was getting in the way of the purity of their worship. So his advice was, firstly, if you are married or committed to be married, then get on with it, but be warned; a marriage will bring with it “many troubles”, and Paul wanted to spare those who were thinking of embarking on such a life choice from the resulting hassles. Secondly, Paul suggested that being a virgin was ok as well. But above all, Paul implied, don’t make any rash decisions and instead take time to think things through, and remain as they were.

The word “virgin” isn’t commonly used today, unless it is associated with travel or financial companies originally founded by Sir Richard Branson. To describe a young woman (or man come to that) as being a “virgin”, is not considered politically correct, and in any case, in this day and age, who knows the sexual status of anyone. And what does it matter anyway? But that is the secular viewpoint. In the Kingdom of God, sexual relationships are set out as being between a man and a woman. This couple had previously bound themselves together in a lifelong marriage commitment. The expectation from Genesis 2 was that God decided that man, on his own, even if expected to live forever, sustained by the Tree of Life, needed a companion. Genesis 2:18, “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him””. Don’t forget what God said in the previous chapter, when He spoke into being, from nothing, the world and the universe and everything within them, all with a mind-boggling, detailed complexity. So, God spoke again and made a woman, but not from dust this time. He created a woman from one of Adam’s ribs, a process that recorded the first operation carried out with a general anaesthetic. Why did God create Eve in this way? Genesis 2:22, 24, “Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. … This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one”. It was God’s intention that there would be a perfect marriage between men and women, with no need for virgins, or so it would seem. Incidentally, there is an almost perfect 50:50 split between male and female births (statistics record 50.4% male and 49.6% female globally); have we ever asked the question “why?”. The evolutionists will point to “natural selection”, but such perfection, regardless of the devil’s ambitions and interference, has God’s creative fingerprints all over it. 

Paul gave the Corinthians some practical advice, addressing the specific concerns that they had. In similar circumstances today, the same advice applies, but as Paul said, he had “no command from the Lord” about such things. There is, therefore, no substitute for guidance from the Holy Spirit. Human beings are wired to conform to God’s order, male and female, joined together in marriage, but if someone wishes to be a virgin, then that is ok as well. 

We can’t leave this topic without referring to the “gender wars” currently underway. What arrogance, that a person thinks that they are born “in the wrong body”, directly challenging God’s order and creation. But that is just like the devil, who has always tried to frustrate God’s plans, His perfect order. But we needn’t worry about this deviation in human thinking. God has not fallen off His throne. We live in a moral universe, in one where God honours the choice made by human beings everywhere. John 3:16 is clear about God’s amazing and perfect love, and man’s choice. We read, “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life“. We must note, because Jesus said it, that it is only those who believe in Jesus who will not perish. That means that those who don’t believe in Him, by their own choice, will perish. Just think about it. Those who say that they were born “in the wrong body” and go to great lengths to correct the situation they perceive as being wrong are committing a grave sin against God, for which there will be consequences. How can God allow such a sin to be left unpunished? So their unconfessed sin will result in their perishing, unless, of course, they repent and accept Jesus before they die. Rather than go through the chemical and surgical procedures that are available today, they would have been far better advised to follow Paul’s suggestion, “for a man to remain as he is”. We note, of course, that “man” involves “woman” as well.

We pilgrims may be in a married relationship, just thinking about it, a widow or widower, or still a virgin. Before God, Paul said, all these conditions are acceptable. Instead of concerning ourselves with such things, we should look to Jesus, seeking to serve Him day by day, in our journey to eternity. He is our Saviour and Lord. Forever.

Dear Lord Jesus. We sincerely thank You for all You have done in our lives, through the Cross at Calvary. Please forgive us for getting our priorities wrong sometimes. We pray that You lead and guide us on our journey to Glory, step by step and day by day, through Your Spirit that dwells within each one of us. In Your precious name. Amen.

Remain As You Were

Posted on by korgrocker

“Yes, each of you should remain as you were when God called you. Are you a slave? Don’t let that worry you—but if you get a chance to be free, take it. And remember, if you were a slave when the Lord called you, you are now free in the Lord. And if you were free when the Lord called you, you are now a slave of Christ. God paid a high price for you, so don’t be enslaved by the world. Each of you, dear brothers and sisters, should remain as you were when God first called you.”
1 Corinthians 7:20-24 NLT

Being born again was a new experience for the Corinthian believers, and they were unsure of how to navigate this new life within them. Here was Paul telling them to calm down a bit and take things more slowly. Society in Corinth was an immoral hotchpotch of different trades and professions, with a liberal presence of slaves, and, although very different to today, there are many similarities. For a start, we don’t have a population of slaves here in the West, and owning a slave is illegal (although this practice goes on under the authorities’ radar). Our society also frowns upon many of the sexual practices that went on in the Greek societies. Still, we must face the reality that our culture today is no more moral than it was in Corinth nearly two thousand years ago. Human nature hasn’t changed when it comes to matters of sin. 

Being born again is a life-changing event that propels unbelievers into a new realm where spiritual rebirth opens a door into the Kingdom of God. It is a wonderful place, full of all kinds of spiritual treasure, that transforms a human being into a spiritual being, albeit shackled to a dying physical body riddled with sin. But then the struggles start, as Paul wrote in Romans 7:15, “I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate“. He continues, “But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong”(Romans 7:20-21). It is only through Jesus that we can find a remedy for the sin that hangs on within us.

However, we can understand why the Corinthians behaved in the way they did because we experience the same struggles. Their approach to their new lives, however, had a tendency to be dramatic, with thoughts of leaving unbelieving spouses or becoming celibates in a very sexually-oriented society. Paul advised them to remain as they were at the time when they were spiritually reborn. If they were married, stay married. If they were circumcised or not, don’t try to change anything. And he advised that if they were in a situation such as a slave, don’t fret about it. 

In the 21st Century, the same advice applies. At the point of salvation experienced by a new believer, they should not make any rapid decisions about their status; whatever profession they were in (as long as it was legal and not immoral) should be continued as before. Paul’s advice, which he wrote about two thousand years ago, remains just as relevant today. He specifically suggested that decisions regarding relationships and marriages should not be rushed, with the new believer waiting until the Holy Spirit provides the necessary guidance. An example from my own experience: when I was reborn by the Spirit of God, I was employed by a UK defence contractor developing an IT-based training facility that would help to teach army gunners to shoot their weapons. I continued for a couple of years until the Holy Spirit suggested to me that this might not be the best profession for me and my conscience. So I moved to another job in a different industry. However, I once knew a couple in a cohabiting relationship who were both saved at the same time and who immediately took steps to remedy the situation by following their pastor’s advice for a pathway towards an early marriage. What they did was right in their situation.

Paul singled out the situation of the slaves, telling them not to worry about their enslaved status, although if they got the chance to become free, they should take it. He put slavery into context by reminding them that they were now slaves of Christ, who “paid a high price for” them, and that is true, because today as well, we know what Jesus did for us at Calvary. However, Paul reminded all believers, then and now, that they must not be enslaved to the world. There is a balance to be struck between living in the Kingdom of God and living in the world. We consist of a physical person and a spiritual person, all wrapped up in the same package, and each part has its own needs. So the physical person needs to be fed and supplied with the necessities of natural life. A spiritual person has spiritual needs, satisfied by communion and fellowship with God. However, the question that needs to be answered is this: how do these two entities live in harmony? Well, the answer is that, more often than we would like, the physical person, complete with their sinful nature, prevails. Thankfully, through the gentle encouragement of the Holy Spirit, our lives become more and more spiritual as we grow in grace and holiness.

Paul’s pastoral love shone out when he referred to the Corinthians believers as “dear brothers and sisters”. From God’s perspective, He looks down from Heaven and refers to us as His dear children. His love and compassion, grace and kindness, know no bounds, and we are fully resourced by Him to face the life that we lead. He knows what’s best for us, and that’s all that matters.

Dear Heavenly Father. We know that we can trust You with our lives and journey towards our Heavenly home. We praise and thank You today. Amen.

The Important Thing

Posted on by korgrocker

“Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches. For instance, a man who was circumcised before he became a believer should not try to reverse it. And the man who was uncircumcised when he became a believer should not be circumcised now. For it makes no difference whether or not a man has been circumcised. The important thing is to keep God’s commandments.”
1 Corinthians 7:17-19 NLT

In the context of marriage, even between an unbeliever and a believer, Paul’s advice was that this should not change, even if there were spiritual advantages in doing so. He also used the example of circumcision, a topical subject in those days because there were some Jewish converts who thought that it was a good thing for new believers to do. Again, Paul’s advice was to leave things as they were at the point of conversion, with both circumcised and uncircumcised men remaining unchanged (I’m not sure how the circumcised could affect a reversal, but there we are). Paul was clear that the “important thing” was “to keep God’s commandments”. There is a human tendency that demands an alternative, less painful way when under pressure to make changes in our lives. So we look for a scapegoat if things go wrong in the office. We look for an alternative spiritual focus when the Holy Spirit reveals something within us that needs to change. And so it seems this was the situation in Corinth, where Paul had to suggest to the believers there that they should stop thrashing around looking for a new or better spiritual way when all that was needed was for them to get down to the coalface of their lives, and deal with their sin. Paul wrote something similar to the Ephesian church. “So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbours the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good, hard work, and then give generously to others in need. Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them” (Ephesians 4:25-29). These things were all associated with God’s commandments, and the important thing was to keep them.

In our churches today, there are outward things that can distract and divert our attention away from the true and narrow way. In years past, there was a tendency among the female members of the congregation to try to outdo one another with their dresses and hats. With the quality of the cakes baked for the church fete, or with a similar domestic creation. The men would also tell their tales of fishing or golfing, all in a way that introduced a hierarchy in the social order. Back in our churches, the flower arrangements became increasingly amazing, and the brass work on the font or pulpit had to be polished to the brightest possible standard. In relation to the liturgies, certain unliked or boring hymns, or their tunes, sometimes became distractions, as did the quality of the minister’s singing voice, or the poor state of repair of the hassock used for kneeling in the prayer times. Closer to today, think about the difficulties in introducing a new song or making a change to the seating layout in the hall. But in it all, a good pastor will help the congregation focus on the “important things” and not become distracted by the unimportant matters that can so easily impact or degrade church life. As an aside, in one church I attended, the pastor became very frustrated by the intransigence of a small group of people who insisted in populating the back row of the seating arrangement, so one day, before he started preaching, he asked the congregation to stand, at which point he lifted the pulpit and carried it to the rear of the church, whereupon he then asked the congregation to be reseated by turning their chairs round. So the back row became the front row, and the congregants there received the benefit of his sermon without distractions.

In God, all believers are new creations. Think about it. We were born physically, just as Jesus said to Nicodemus in John 3:6, but we are also born again through the Holy Spirit. “Humans can reproduce only human life, but the Holy Spirit gives birth to spiritual life”. We may still be human beings, physical marvels of God’s creation, but we are also spiritual beings, reborn in a mystery of creation that we will not fully comprehend until we reach Heaven. The problem is that we allow our physical beings to dominate our spiritual lives. So physical tiredness will stop us from praying or reading our Bibles. A busy diary will perhaps cause us to miss a few meetings. But it shouldn’t be that way. Sadly, our sinful natures get in the way of how we should really live our Christian lives. Paul wrote to the Galatians and said, “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions” (Galatians 5:16-17). 

For us pilgrims, the “important thing” is to live God’s way by us putting ” … on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:24). There is no other way because when we leave this life, our sinful natures will be left behind, and it will be our spirits that will be found in Heaven. The next time we become distracted like Martha did in the Luke 10 Gospel account, we must remember what the “important thing” is. It’s all about Jesus, folks, and we mustn’t ever forget that.

Dear Lord Jesus. In all our distractions, we remember the One who has done so much for us. We worship and praise You today with deeply thankful hearts. Amen.

Is Divorce Allowed?

Posted on by korgrocker

“But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not leave his wife. … (But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.)”
1 Corinthians 7:10-11, 15 NLT

On the one hand, Paul received a command from the Lord that neither a husband nor a wife should leave their spouse. But then there seems to be some grounds for divorce in certain circumstances. Jesus said, “But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery” (Matthew 5:32). The prophet Malachi also had some Spirit-driven words about divorce, ““For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife”” (Malachi 2:16). 

The Roman Catholic point of view is very strict when it comes to matters of divorce. A quotation from the Catholic Answers website: “Divorce that “claims to break the marital contract” is never morally allowed. In fact, note that divorce only claims to break marriage but cannot achieve it” … “there is no such thing as a spouse “breaking” the marriage bond or contract. It is immoral to attempt, and a grave sin for the one who has that intent”. However, the Catholics will allow what they refer to as a “civil divorce” to protect the legal interests of an injured party and any children resulting from the marriage, but as long as this course of action is not intended to annul the marriage. 

The Anglican viewpoint on divorce is similar but is less dogmatic when it comes to the situation regarding the remarriage of divorcees. Quote from anglican.org, “Without compromising its teaching that Christian marriage is ‘in its nature’ lifelong, the Church of England has, after much debate, now accepted that, sad as this is, marriages can break down. It has been further accepted that, even for clergy (including bishops), a further marriage can be possible, and can be solemnised in church, where a former spouse is still living – providing that an enquiry has been made into the circumstances surrounding the ending of the first marriage and the inception and coming to fruition of the subsequent relationship. They reflect the Church of England’s emerging view that where a marriage has failed, a fresh start is possible. In part (and perhaps in origin) this development came in response to the reality of civil divorce; one party may, as a point of fact, cause a marriage to end in law, even against the wishes of the other”.

The Elim Movement’s position on the breakdown of marriage is Biblically based; the following is from their “Statement of Beliefs”: “Marriage can only be broken by marital unfaithfulness involving adultery, homosexuality, or incest. While the Scriptures give evidence that the marriage vow and “one-flesh” union are broken by such acts and therefore recognize the breaking of the marriage relationship, the Scriptures do recommend that the most desirable option would be reconciliation”. Regarding divorce, the same Statement reads, “We, therefore, discourage divorce by all lawful means and teaching.  Our objective is reconciliation and the healing of the marital union wherever possible. Marital unfaithfulness should not be considered so much an occasion or opportunity for divorce but rather an opportunity for Christian grace, forgiveness, and restoration. Divorce in our society is the termination of a marriage through a legal process authorised by the State.  While the Church recognises this legal process as an appropriate means to facilitate the permanent separation of spouses, the Church restricts the idea of divorce, in the sense of dissolution of marriage, to reasons specified in Scripture”.  

Across our denominations today, it seems that marriage and divorce are topics that are treated very seriously. However, for the Corinthian church, Paul added an extra possibility regarding the annulment of a marriage, specifically for couples who were unequally yoked. That is, one spouse was a believer and the other an unbeliever. This was to address the specific situation that had occurred when the congregation there was considering celibacy and holiness in their marriages. In this context, he wrote, “If the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go“. However, this is less applicable to married couples today.

As we pilgrims know, the secular society in which we live accepts marriage, but without taking the vows too seriously. Divorce is treated by unbelievers as one of those things, and a better option than having to make the effort to make the marriage work. Many couples today decide that cohabiting is the best option, and that has become a social norm, sadly. But holding fast to the Biblical stand on marriage is something that we do, and we find that it drives another wedge between the two kingdoms, the kingdom of the world and the Kingdom of Heaven. When it comes to relations between believers, whether in marriage or not, the standards of love, acceptance and grace set a very high bar, unthinkable to our secular friends. But then we pause, setting aside all our prejudices and legalisms, and remembering instead all that Jesus has done for us. Those in any sort of Godly relationship, marriage or not, will have difficulties at times, but through Jesus and His Spirit, we are more than conquerors, with the strength to be overcomers. 1 John 5:4-5, “For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith. And who can win this battle against the world? Only those who believe that Jesus is the Son of God”. We are not in a position without hope, as our unbelieving friends are. Through our faith in the King of kings and Lord of lords, we have a fantastic future and the means to defeat the enemy who comes to steal and destroy. The devil’s hold over our marriages has been broken.

Dear Father God. Thank You for our spouses and our friends. Please help us to take the fragrance of Jesus into all our relationships, this day and every day. Amen.

Unequally Yoked Marriages

Posted on by korgrocker

“Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command from the Lord. If a fellow believer has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. And if a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the believing husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy. (But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.) Don’t you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you? And don’t you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you?”
1 Corinthians 7:12-16 NLT

A larger-than-usual passage of Scripture today to fuel our thoughts, but Paul is addressing the subject of marriages that contain a believer and an unbeliever. To warrant such attention, this must have been a not uncommon experience in the Corinthian church, and even today, the situation of unequally yoked marriages continues. Similarly, in my own experience, my wife became a Christian a year or so before I did. Although this introduced a new dynamic into our relationship (not always positive initially, dare I say!), there was never any suggestion of a marriage breakdown. 

Paul gave some pragmatic advice to those in a marriage where one spouse was a believer and the other wasn’t. To make doubly sure, he laboured the point a little, specifically mentioning that the wife should not leave the husband and the husband should not leave the wife, and he gave a very good reason for the advice. Paul wrote, “For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the believing husband brings holiness to his marriage”. And the spin-off was that the children resulting from their union would also become holy. A win-win situation all around, as the marriage would remain intact and the children would be blessed. And Paul finally suggested that the one-sided relationship would nevertheless leave the door open to the possibility that, through the believing spouse, the unsaved partner might come to know God and be saved themselves. However, Paul did say that this was not a command he had received from the Lord, so it was simply good, sound, practical advice designed to keep marriages together whenever possible. We remember, of course, that marriage between a man and a woman is a God-ordained relationship, regardless of the partners’ individual beliefs. 

Paul, however, also addressed the situation where a husband and wife failed in their attempts to keep the marriage together, and where the believing partner decided to leave the relationship. There may have been good reasons for this in the Corinthians’ culture of sexual immorality and general debauchery. Perhaps the wife or the husband was deeply involved in practices that were highly offensive and degrading, refused to change their ways, and made it impossible for the believing partner to live with them. In those cases, Paul released the believer because God had “called [them] to live in peace”. This would have been the doomsday scenario, but one that couldn’t be ignored. 

So, what do we pilgrims make of this? A good question and one that demands an answer to a situation we hope we never have to face. But God, in His grace and mercy, has put in His Word advice that has encouraged and helped countless people over the millennia since Paul wrote these words. I have two good friends, each of whom has gone through divorce, and they have come through the situation strong but still wearing the scars in their souls. Marriage is a God-given institution and one that aligns precisely with His commands. We do well if we sustain it, both in our own lives and, if we can, the lives of those we know. And we pray for our friends and family who are considering marriage, that God will lead and guide them in His ways.

Dear Lord Jesus. We thank You for the institution of marriage, and those of us who enjoy the relationship with a believing partner, we give You many thanks. But there will be many who are not so fortunate, and we pray for them today that Your Spirit will be with them and will bless them in all they do. There will also be others who have experienced a painful schism, a divorce between them, and we ask for your forgiveness for the wrongs committed. In such situations, please bring good out of the bad and even a reconciliation where possible. We ask all this in Your precious name. Amen.

God’s Counsel

Posted on by korgrocker

“So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust. But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.”
1 Corinthians 7:8-11 NLT

There are responsibilities in being married. For married people, the Scriptures provide the clear principle “once married, always married”. One thing the Anglicans have got right (in my opinion) is the text of the vows used by the applicants in a marriage ceremony, “I, (name), take you, (name) to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow“. The implication of Paul’s instructions to the Corinthians was very clearly about “till death us do part”, because Paul wrote, “A wife must not leave her husband” and, “the husband must not leave his wife”. But Paul added a caveat about the wife, “But if she does leave her husband” with further instructions following. What was going on here, with an apparent conflict, and the advice only applying to the woman, not the man? If we look at the context of this chapter, it started with answering a question about celibacy, about being single, so that the person concerned would not be distracted from spending more time with the Lord, in prayer and service, as Paul was. So, in that context, perhaps some wives in the Corinthian congregation had already left their husbands for this purpose. Perhaps even some husbands were thinking about doing the same. Perhaps either partner was in the process of thinking about it. But Paul was clear because he added the weight of saying, “I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord,” applying to the sanctity of marriage. So Paul endorsed the principle, “Once married, always married”.

Jesus taught about marriage in His Sermon on the Mount, when He said, “You have heard the law that says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’ But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery” (Matthew 5:31-32). There was only one ground for divorce, and that was adultery. But sadly, in our churches today, I suspect divorced people can be found, feeling uncomfortable when these verses are read, remembering the pain and the shame of the time leading up to the final schism, feeling once again the guilt over their contribution to the divorce and the fallout afterwards. They remember the estranged children and a trail of broken relationships as the previously-married couple’s friends took sides. A good friend of mine was a minister in a church near where I live, and some years ago, his wife left him for another man. It took my friend five years to get over the breakup of his marriage and the divorce, although in his case, at least he still has contact with his children. I’m sure we all have in our families at least someone who has a broken marriage somewhere in their past.

Paul’s instructions to the wife who left her husband so that she could spend more time with the Lord were to either remain single or be reconciled to her husband, but it would have been better to have stayed married in the first place. Was it the case in Corinth that the groundswell of opinion was taking them towards a celibate congregation? Have we ever met a situation in the church where a particular teaching has been so powerful that it results in a knee-jerk reaction and behaviour that swings too far in the wrong direction? For example, some years ago, an independent congregation near where I live had a period of teaching that resulted in the congregation wearing black to represent their mourning for the state of the world and the society around them. Harmless enough, I suppose, but it was thought a bit strange at the time. Sometimes particular topics can be over-emphasised, or taken out of context, and used to underpin a particular church’s direction. In the Corinthian congregation, perhaps the tendency was for celibacy to be promoted, and here was Paul trying to introduce balance and the proper perspective before the believers went off the rails completely, destroying marriages in the process. 

We pilgrims are more balanced, we hope. We promote and apply the full counsel of God to our Kingdom lives here on earth, don’t we? How do we do that? By reading and re-reading the Bible. And not just reading it, but studying it. We are blessed today with a whole selection of Bible versions and helps that will enable us to really understand what the Scriptures say. We hear a message from the pulpit and we overlay it on our own understanding of the Word and put to one side anything that doesn’t seem to fit with our understanding of God’s counsel, so that we can explore and study what has been said, and if necessary update our own Christian beliefs. That is one way in which our pastors and teachers disciple their flock. Our preachers often follow a topic or series helpful to believers, and those of us who have been around for many years also benefit from hearing the truths once again. We pilgrims never tire of hearing God’s Word expounded from the front, and that is why we try and never miss a church meeting. Those who do always run the risk that they will miss something that God wants them to hear. 

We worship a wonderful God who wants His children to become more like His Son, Jesus, and we believers here on earth embrace all that He has for us, and we do our best to grow in His grace and love, day by day.

Dear Father God. You have wonderful and helpful truths in Your Word, and we thank You for Your servants who open our eyes through the power of the Holy Spirit working within us. Please help us to hear what You want us to hear so that we can grow to be the children of God that You want us to be. In Jesus’ name. Amen. 

The Gift of Life

Posted on by korgrocker

“Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.”
1 Corinthians 7:5-7 NLT

Paul was obviously celibate, unmarried, and single. His dedication to Jesus and his life were all that mattered to him, and he went through terrible times of physical and mental torment on his missionary journeys. But nothing was going to stop him from propagating the Gospel around the towns, cities, and communities of the Middle East. And if that wasn’t enough, he wrote letters that set out important theology referred to today in what we call the New Testament. Paul was an extraordinary man, God’s messenger to many, and foundational to the early church. But in all that, he had a compassionate and pastoral ministry that provided light and hope for a fellowship of early Christians based in Corinth. The culture and society, in many ways, were sex-based, but Paul cut through all of that with advice, Godly advice at that, about the importance of sexual relationships confined to a marriage alone. However, in response to their questions, he agreed with the Corinthians that, for some, it might be better for them to pursue celibacy, becoming as he was. Paul found great freedom in being fully devoted to Christ, without any distractions, particularly of the sexual kind. However, we note that celibacy is not commanded by God because if it were, the human race would quickly die out. Instead, when it came to matters of serving God, Paul “wished” everyone were single, “just as [he] was”. 

Paul wrote, “Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another”. In the context of this passage of Scripture, he was referring to the gift of singleness, of celibacy, and the gift of marriage. In both cases, this was a God-given gift, but the key is to recognise where God has placed the person involved, who would then have to face the consequences of the decision faithfully. Both marriage and singleness are a calling, and one that should be carefully worked out before God, who supplies the courage and strength required. Paul did not want anyone to try to overcome a God-given desire for sexuality out of a mistaken idea that lifelong abstinence is the best path for every person, in all cases. God has simply given the celibate and the married different gifts, not a lesser purpose. In no way does the Bible suggest unmarried and celibate Christians are more spiritual than married Christians.

This “special gift” referred to by Paul can also be viewed in the context of life itself. Think about it for a moment. Life is granted by God, but when do we thank Him for it? Did we thank Him when we emerged from sleep this morning? Yes, for some, the wakening might be accompanied by pain and suffering, especially if they are struggling with an illness or disability, but life is still there. Nick Vujicic wakes up every morning to face another day without arms and legs. I have a friend who has regular hospital visits for a urological procedure that comes with very painful and debilitating after effects. But God has granted us gifts of life for a reason, because in many ways, life here on this earth is a training ground for what is to come. Paul wrote in Romans 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord”. One day, there will be no more sickness and death, but also no more having to consider sexual matters. Jesus said, “For when the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage. In this respect they will be like the angels in heaven” (Matthew 22:30). Because there will be no more death after we leave this life (Revelation 21:4, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever“), procreation to repopulate Heaven or the New Earth will not be required. 

We pilgrims have been granted many spiritual and natural gifts, but it is pointless just to leave them still wrapped up and unused. God may have given us a wonderful spouse in the gift of marriage, but He might also have given us a gift of being single. But we mustn’t forget that He has given us the gift of life. Jesus said, “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life” (John 10:10). Through Jesus, we have a wonderful life. Let’s not waste it.

Dear Father God. We thank You for our gifts of life and pray You lead and guide us in the best way to use them for Your glory. In Jesus’ name. Amen.