“A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but only if he loves the Lord. But in my opinion it would be better for her to stay single, and I think I am giving you counsel from God’s Spirit when I say this.”
1 Corinthians 7:39-40 NLT
So, Paul wrote that “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives”. In today’s society, which is conscious of and sensitive to the rights of women, this is not a politically correct instruction. To single out a woman’s responsibility to her husband but not the other way round is enough to make any feminist’s blood boil. But in the misogynistic and patriarchal societies two thousand years ago, instructions such as these were not uncommon. A woman was considered the lesser of the two people in the marriage partnership. In first-century Greece, formal education for women varied significantly according to where a person lived. Corinthian girls would have received little to no formal instruction, instead learning domestic skills like weaving and household management from their mothers to prepare for marriage and motherhood. Male education varied by place as well, but generally involved foundational literacy and numeracy for the wealthy, with higher learning for affluent boys through Sophists and philosophers, emphasising rhetoric and philosophy. Physical training was also standard, often in a gymnasium, to instil discipline and prepare for military service. Today, in Western societies, education is available to all, regardless of sex, providing equal opportunities. This ensures that marriage is equally supported by both men and women, even to the extent of traditional role reversals, with the husband taking on childcare and managing the household.
Paul, however, suggested that, should the husband die first, then the wife, presumably a believer, was free to remarry, as long as the new husband was another believer. But, and here’s the thing, Paul suggested that it would be better for the widow to stay unmarried and remain single. This would not always be the best option for the poor woman, because these were days before Social Security payments were available. The church would have helped out in a way such as was recorded in Acts 6:1, “But as the believers rapidly multiplied, there were rumblings of discontent. The Greek-speaking believers complained about the Hebrew-speaking believers, saying that their widows were being discriminated against in the daily distribution of food”. But nevertheless, Paul promoted singleness for the widow, writing, “I think I am giving you counsel from God’s Spirit when I say this”. “I think …” indicates a degree of uncertainty on Paul’s part, as he showed an honesty about what he thought he was hearing from the Holy Spirit.
If we pilgrims are honest with ourselves today, “I think …” is more common than we might be prepared to admit. Faced with an important decision, it is difficult most of the time to separate our human thoughts from God’s thoughts. Although the Bible is full of God’s counsel, on many matters it is difficult to get a definitive answer from it. Yes, we will receive general advice in line with God’s principles, but often we come up against situations about which Scripture is silent. This introduces a difficulty when it comes to matters of direction. “Should I accept this job …”, or “should I date this girl …”. Perhaps, “Should I become a missionary”, or “Should I go to Bible College”, might be options laid before us. For older people, thoughts of moving to a smaller house or a new part of the country to be nearer family might present themselves as potential “I think’s“. So what should a pilgrim do?
If we find ourselves presented with a life-changing option, such as the widow in Paul’s verses today, we must first pray about the situation, believing that through our faith, the Holy Spirit will lead and guide us. In parallel, we might bounce our thoughts off a trusted friend or pastor, obtaining more guidance and a different perspective. But if we’re still not sure, then for the “risk-averse” amongst us, perhaps the best solution is to put the matter before God, leaving it “on the back burner” until we get the confirmation or direction that we need. This is not always best, though, because sometimes God wants us to step out in faith, much as Jackie Pullinger did when she boarded a steamer asking God to reveal to her the port where He wanted her to start her missionary calling. We must also be aware that often, the decision before us may be acceptable to God, whichever way we go and whatever we do. In the end, He wants us to grow in His grace and love, flourishing in the place and bearing fruit where He has placed us.
“I think …” may be a God-thought that we need to act upon. Consider ourselves a sailing ship, tied up in port, while we wait for the right wind, one that is right in terms of direction and speed. But it never comes, and we remain in the port, increasingly unhappy and frustrated, never going anywhere. Sometimes God wants us to launch out and leave the port anyway, because once we are on the move, God can work in the situation to bring the right circumstances. These may not be what we were expecting while in the port, but once on the move, God can show us the course He wants us to take. Psalm 119:105, “Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path“. Psalm 37:5, “Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you”. Proverbs 16:3, “Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed“. God doesn’t mind sometimes if we make mistakes. Paul wrote in Romans 8:28, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them”. Once we are on the move, God will redeem the situation we find ourselves in, and as we look to Him in faith, He will guide us. We don’t know what the future holds for us in our natural lives, but we do know who holds the future, both now and forever.
Dear Father God. We know that You love us and want the very best for each one of Your children. Please lead us and guide us, we pray, as we walk along Your paths in this life, in preparation for the next. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Being a Pilgrim 