Holy Kiss – Being a Pilgrim

“The churches here in the province of Asia send greetings in the Lord, as do Aquila and Priscilla and all the others who gather in their home for church meetings. All the brothers and sisters here send greetings to you. Greet each other with a sacred kiss.”
1 Corinthians 16:19-20 NLT

1 Corinthians 16:20 is translated in the NIV, “All the brothers and sisters here send you greetings. Greet one another with a holy kiss”. Sacred or holy, the meaning in this verse is the same. In the culture of Paul’s day, a kiss was a common form of greeting between family members and close friends. In some parts of the world, this custom has continued, and we find the same instruction from Paul in Romans 16:16, “Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ send greetings”. Peter wrote the same, “Greet each other with a kiss of love. Peace be with all of you who are in Christ” (1 Peter 5:14), so it was not just Paul’s suggestion.

In our Western and British culture, a kiss is retained for romantic or sensual purposes, and is not associated with a Christian greeting (although I did attend one church where the pastor asked the congregation to greet each other with a kiss – it didn’t go down well!). Instead, when asked, the congregation will greet each other with a handshake, a hug, or no physical contact at all. And in every case, some words of welcome or reference to something known about the other person accompany the greeting.

In the Church of England, they have formalised the greeting into an action called the “Passing of the Peace”. This practice involves a liturgical exchange between the minister and the congregation, after which members of the congregation greet one another. The standard words used during the service are from the Common Worship texts: The minister says, “The peace of the Lord be always with you”, and the congregation responds, “And also with you”. The minister then usually encourages the congregation with words such as, “Let us offer one another a sign of peace”. The practice is intended to symbolise the congregation’s reconciliation with one another and their becoming one body of Christ before sharing in the sacrament of Communion. Parishes are encouraged to ensure that the greeting is inclusive and that visitors or those who do not know many people are not left out. I think it is rather sad that the intent behind the “holy kiss” has had to be formalised in this denomination, and even misinterpreted just to involve “peace”, good though that is.

So what was the purpose of greeting each other with a “holy or sacred kiss”? Over the centuries, the practice of greeting one another with a holy kiss adapted to fit various cultural contexts. What remained constant, however, was the godly principle of mutual love and respect for our brothers and sisters. In Romans 12:9-10, Paul wrote, “Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honouring each other”. When greeting another person, regardless of the context, social norms and sensitivities must be honoured. I used to know a young man who couldn’t cope with physical contact at all, and when this sensitivity emerged in a church context, everyone quickly honoured him with restraint. At the other end of the spectrum, an old lady in the church loved hugs and really appreciated gestures of love and acceptance.

The adjective “holy” or “sacred” in the NLT translation indicates that this kiss embodies the love, purity, and sanctity of Christian fellowship. Jesus said to His disciples, “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples” (John 13:34-35). We can demonstrate Christian love in a number of ways, but I sometimes think that those in the society in which we live would never know just by looking at us together. A public greeting that differs from the norm of handshakes might perhaps be a good idea. What do my fellow pilgrims think?

Dear Lord Jesus. You gave us a new commandment to love one another, and we are so sad that we too often fail in this part of our Christian life. Please help us, we pray, to treat each other in the faith well, and with the love that You commanded. In Your precious name. Amen.

“Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ greet you.”
Romans‬ ‭16‬:‭16‬ ‭AMP‬‬

Here is a custom that is quite foreign to us Western types. A “holy kiss”? What is that all about? Of course we see people in other parts of the world greeting each other with something that looks like a kiss, and this was probably the case in the Middle Eastern culture of Paul’s day. But in our Western expressions of Christianity it is unusual to engage with another person, particularly someone who isn’t close to us, in this way.

There are three other mentions of a “holy kiss” in the New Testament, and all in letters written by Paul. But in those days it was no big deal, because greeting someone with a kiss was the equivalent of what a handshake would be today. It should be emphasised that this was a “holy kiss” as against one that was unholy, which would have sexual or hypocritical connotations.

Some years ago, I was in a church meeting, and at a certain point in the service we were encouraged to give each other a “holy kiss”. Inevitably there was some embarrassed giggling, and most people refused to get involved, but next to me there was a man with a beard who had no such inhibitions and without warning I was aware of this hairy chin too close to me for comfort! I know a young Christian man who has mild Asperger’s, and he cannot bear anyone touching him, so just as well he wasn’t there in that meeting.

We of course remember the account of another kiss, one that was far from being holy. We read in Luke 22:47-48, “But even as Jesus said this, a crowd approached, led by Judas, one of the twelve disciples. Judas walked over to Jesus to greet him with a kiss. But Jesus said, “Judas, would you betray the Son of Man with a kiss?”” A sad encounter and one that sealed Judas’ doom.

To those early Christians, the “holy kiss” was particularly special, because it was morally pure and blameless, and it signified love, affection and friendship. In that context we too can uphold the same principles, perhaps by taking someone’s hand or giving them a hug. After all, we are members of the greatest organisation, if we can call it that, this world has ever seen. We are united by our love for each other and our love of God. That’s surely worth a lot more than a handshake!

Dear Father God. You created us to be warm and loving beings, full of Your love and grace. Please help us to view our fellow believers as You see them. In Jesus’ name. Amen,