“So I decided that I would not bring you grief with another painful visit. For if I cause you grief, who will make me glad? Certainly not someone I have grieved.”
2 Corinthians 2:1-2 NLT
The word “grief” is usually associated with that feeling of intense sorrow at the loss of a loved one after they have died. It is an emotion difficult to describe unless you have already experienced it, but it is accompanied by a range of other emotions that supplement feelings of loss. People often spend their remaining years with a feeling of regret that they didn’t do more for the person who has died, or spend more time with them, even to the point of imagining things that build on feelings of guilt. Some even remember the final days of the relationship as stressful, marked by arguments and the added burden of words later regretted. I can remember a conversation with a church leader who had suddenly lost his wife to an unexpected heart attack, but a few months later, he said his biggest problem was loneliness, a side effect of the grieving process. Spending a lifetime with a spouse is a difficult bond to break, and the only solace a Christian has is the thought that one day they and their fellow believers who have been left behind will be able to meet up with the one who has died. They would also be comforted by the thought that their loved one, assuming they died as a believer, would now be in a better place, free from the sickness and pain that might have blighted their final moments and even years.
Today, however, Paul uses the word “grief” in these initial verses of 2 Corinthians 2, in the sense of trouble or annoyance. Paul had decided that he wouldn’t cause them further difficulties by delivering a rebuke for their behaviour in person, even if it was well deserved. It would be a visit that would otherwise cause pain to both Paul and those believers in his Corinthian church plant who listened to it. Can we let our imaginations run for a moment, as we think of Paul standing before the congregation? There would be a sense of anticipation, perhaps even antagonism, because they would have known from his previous letter that Paul had something to say that they didn’t want to hear. Those, such as the man living with his stepmother and their supporters, if they were still present, would have had a good idea of what was coming. Perhaps others felt resentful about Paul, unsure of his authority. The church leaders would have had a discussion with Paul before the event, which might have added to the stress that was most likely already present. So really, it would have been understandable for Paul to consider that a face-to-face meeting might have been counterproductive, and it would have been better to hand-deliver another letter by men who were prepared to travel to Corinth, who knew Paul and the situation, and who could tailor the message to achieve a better result.
The problem for Paul concerned church discipline and sinful issues that needed correction. Jesus taught about correcting another believer in Matthew 18, and He laid out a three-stage process that began with a private conversation between the sinner and the one bringing correction. A positive response from the person who had sinned was the best outcome. I wonder if that first step had been tried with the man sleeping with his stepmother? From his first letter, I doubt that this was the case because of the public way it had been raised. Jesus continued with the second stage: “But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses” (Matthew 18:16). At this point, the one being corrected would hopefully have responded positively, but I suspect if it got to this stage in a church today, the person would have resigned and moved on to save themselves public disgrace. However, Jesus continued to stage three with: “If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector” (Matthew 18:17).
Paul didn’t want to be a stage-three apostle, bringing public correction, because it would have created an atmosphere of grief rather than joy. Understandable, of course, but sometimes there has to be pain before gain. Thankfully, today we have the authority of Scripture to help us in our journeys through life, and public denouncement from the pulpit is rare. We live in the Kingdom of God, and the rules concerning behaviour and sin are well established and followed. But there are still young Christians who need guidance and help in their early years.
Above all the issues raised, however, we pilgrims know our loving Heavenly Father and His grace and forgiveness. We have a personal relationship with Him through prayer, and we have His Word, the Bible, for reference to keep us strong and full of faith. Through our praise and worship, we honour Him in the way that He deserves, and we are full of joy in these last days in the knowledge that soon we will never experience any form of grief ever again.
Dear Father God. Thank You for Paul and his letters and his faithfulness, building on the foundation provided by Your Son, Jesus. We worship You today. Amen.
Being a Pilgrim 