“So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust. But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.”
1 Corinthians 7:8-11 NLT
In today’s verses, Paul continues to set out various instructions about marriage. They provide good, practical help for those believers confused about trying to live their lives in the sexually debauched society in Corinth. Marriage, Paul told them, was ordained by God and should be treated as such, regardless of what was promoted otherwise by the unbelievers around them. Society in those days was a reflection of what went on in Sodom and Gomorrah before sulphur rained down from the heavens and destroyed them, a society that adhered to ideologies promoting all kinds of sexual immorality. They must have known that what they were doing was wrong, because every human being is made in God’s image, but such feelings within them were suppressed, and their consciences seared to extinction. Fast forward to the 21st Century, and nothing has changed. The same human lusts and behaviour, but now new ideologies have emerged to replace those previously present two thousand years before, such as the notion that men can become women and vice versa, with the authorities somehow hoodwinked into endorsing such behaviour. We pilgrims, quietly getting on with our lives in accordance with God’s ways, look on in dismay, trusting that God’s grace will continue for the sake of our children and grandchildren.
But here Paul is saying that marriage is the only outlet for those with insatiable sexual desires. We know from our news reports that there are those in society, mainly men, who occasionally lose their self-control and prey upon women and girls to find an outlet for their sexual lusts. The sexual urge is incredibly strong, but placed there for a purpose that finds its origins right back in Genesis. We read in Genesis 1:27-28, “So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground””. Sometimes it is hard to consider the idea of bringing up children in a society that so often seems so hostile to the concept of procreation. I am writing this at a time when children are returning to school after the summer holidays, and there are news reports of the struggle some parents are experiencing in finding the money for school uniforms. But this is just one factor. I met a retired lady the other day who was mourning the fact that her two married children were not going to have children themselves because they feared for the future of the world and didn’t want their offspring to have to face the global and societal issues they were so fearful might happen. So the poor lady was deprived of the opportunity of having grandchildren, something that is such a pleasure. It is not an easy or painless process to bring up children, but this is what God has commanded.
There will, of course, be those in society who lack the sexual urges that Paul was aware of. He himself was obviously able to control them and devoted himself to a life of celibacy so that he could direct his energies into serving the Lord. And he advised the same for those believers who, like him, were on top of managing their own bodies. We know from well-publicised scandals in certain Christian denominations that some ministers do not find themselves in a comfortable place, being celibate. They find, sometimes much later in life, that their terrible actions against members of their congregations become exposed for all to see, and they then suffer the disgrace of public trials and vilification by the society around them. We should note, of course, that the Bible never promotes celibacy as an essential way of life for a minister. Paul may have advised that such a lifestyle choice is an option for some, but it is unnecessary for life in the Kingdom.
In the end, Paul said there was a choice that men and women can make about their sexual urges. If they can’t be controlled, then the only outlet is marriage. There is no middle ground, involving all sorts of proxy counterfeits, such as prostitution or pornography. There are no grey areas, where a couple live together, abandoning the relationship when the attraction of sex becomes swamped by the other pressures and demands of living with another person. And certainly all the rainbow ideologies of today are totally off-limits, more the result of a devil-inspired society than anything else.
We pilgrims are called to live a life of purity and holiness, and we must always remember that within us dwells the Holy Spirit. We remember the last two verses of the previous chapter in 1 Corinthians 6. Paul wrote, “Don’t you realise that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honour God with your body”. In Romans 12:1-2, Paul also wrote, “And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect”. We may have all sorts of urges within us, but when we look at all that Jesus has done for us, we have no other option than to live a life His way. Paul put his finger right on the issue we face when he wrote, “give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you”. That is what our pilgrim lives are all about. We live a life that is acceptable to God, and we reject the ways of the world. One day, we will find that our dedication and faith will bring us to our Heavenly home, away from everything that the devil has conjured up to destroy God’s people. We stand firm in the face of societal pressures and live our lives God’s way.
Dear Heavenly Father. Please lead us and guide us through this minefield of sexual ideologies that have even penetrated Your holy churches. Please forgive us for our sins, we pray, and please strengthen us for our journey. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Being a Pilgrim 