“Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.”
1 Corinthians 7:5-7 NLT
Paul was obviously celibate, unmarried, and single. His dedication to Jesus and his life were all that mattered to him, and he went through terrible times of physical and mental torment on his missionary journeys. But nothing was going to stop him from propagating the Gospel around the towns, cities, and communities of the Middle East. And if that wasn’t enough, he wrote letters that set out important theology referred to today in what we call the New Testament. Paul was an extraordinary man, God’s messenger to many, and foundational to the early church. But in all that, he had a compassionate and pastoral ministry that provided light and hope for a fellowship of early Christians based in Corinth. The culture and society, in many ways, were sex-based, but Paul cut through all of that with advice, Godly advice at that, about the importance of sexual relationships confined to a marriage alone. However, in response to their questions, he agreed with the Corinthians that, for some, it might be better for them to pursue celibacy, becoming as he was. Paul found great freedom in being fully devoted to Christ, without any distractions, particularly of the sexual kind. However, we note that celibacy is not commanded by God because if it were, the human race would quickly die out. Instead, when it came to matters of serving God, Paul “wished” everyone were single, “just as [he] was”.
Paul wrote, “Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another”. In the context of this passage of Scripture, he was referring to the gift of singleness, of celibacy, and the gift of marriage. In both cases, this was a God-given gift, but the key is to recognise where God has placed the person involved, who would then have to face the consequences of the decision faithfully. Both marriage and singleness are a calling, and one that should be carefully worked out before God, who supplies the courage and strength required. Paul did not want anyone to try to overcome a God-given desire for sexuality out of a mistaken idea that lifelong abstinence is the best path for every person, in all cases. God has simply given the celibate and the married different gifts, not a lesser purpose. In no way does the Bible suggest unmarried and celibate Christians are more spiritual than married Christians.
This “special gift” referred to by Paul can also be viewed in the context of life itself. Think about it for a moment. Life is granted by God, but when do we thank Him for it? Did we thank Him when we emerged from sleep this morning? Yes, for some, the wakening might be accompanied by pain and suffering, especially if they are struggling with an illness or disability, but life is still there. Nick Vujicic wakes up every morning to face another day without arms and legs. I have a friend who has regular hospital visits for a urological procedure that comes with very painful and debilitating after effects. But God has granted us gifts of life for a reason, because in many ways, life here on this earth is a training ground for what is to come. Paul wrote in Romans 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord”. One day, there will be no more sickness and death, but also no more having to consider sexual matters. Jesus said, “For when the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage. In this respect they will be like the angels in heaven” (Matthew 22:30). Because there will be no more death after we leave this life (Revelation 21:4, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever“), procreation to repopulate Heaven or the New Earth will not be required.
We pilgrims have been granted many spiritual and natural gifts, but it is pointless just to leave them still wrapped up and unused. God may have given us a wonderful spouse in the gift of marriage, but He might also have given us a gift of being single. But we mustn’t forget that He has given us the gift of life. Jesus said, “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life” (John 10:10). Through Jesus, we have a wonderful life. Let’s not waste it.
Dear Father God. We thank You for our gifts of life and pray You lead and guide us in the best way to use them for Your glory. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Being a Pilgrim 