“So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust. But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.”
1 Corinthians 7:8-11 NLT
There are responsibilities in being married. For married people, the Scriptures provide the clear principle “once married, always married”. One thing the Anglicans have got right (in my opinion) is the text of the vows used by the applicants in a marriage ceremony, “I, (name), take you, (name) to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow“. The implication of Paul’s instructions to the Corinthians was very clearly about “till death us do part”, because Paul wrote, “A wife must not leave her husband” and, “the husband must not leave his wife”. But Paul added a caveat about the wife, “But if she does leave her husband” with further instructions following. What was going on here, with an apparent conflict, and the advice only applying to the woman, not the man? If we look at the context of this chapter, it started with answering a question about celibacy, about being single, so that the person concerned would not be distracted from spending more time with the Lord, in prayer and service, as Paul was. So, in that context, perhaps some wives in the Corinthian congregation had already left their husbands for this purpose. Perhaps even some husbands were thinking about doing the same. Perhaps either partner was in the process of thinking about it. But Paul was clear because he added the weight of saying, “I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord,” applying to the sanctity of marriage. So Paul endorsed the principle, “Once married, always married”.
Jesus taught about marriage in His Sermon on the Mount, when He said, “You have heard the law that says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’ But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery” (Matthew 5:31-32). There was only one ground for divorce, and that was adultery. But sadly, in our churches today, I suspect divorced people can be found, feeling uncomfortable when these verses are read, remembering the pain and the shame of the time leading up to the final schism, feeling once again the guilt over their contribution to the divorce and the fallout afterwards. They remember the estranged children and a trail of broken relationships as the previously-married couple’s friends took sides. A good friend of mine was a minister in a church near where I live, and some years ago, his wife left him for another man. It took my friend five years to get over the breakup of his marriage and the divorce, although in his case, at least he still has contact with his children. I’m sure we all have in our families at least someone who has a broken marriage somewhere in their past.
Paul’s instructions to the wife who left her husband so that she could spend more time with the Lord were to either remain single or be reconciled to her husband, but it would have been better to have stayed married in the first place. Was it the case in Corinth that the groundswell of opinion was taking them towards a celibate congregation? Have we ever met a situation in the church where a particular teaching has been so powerful that it results in a knee-jerk reaction and behaviour that swings too far in the wrong direction? For example, some years ago, an independent congregation near where I live had a period of teaching that resulted in the congregation wearing black to represent their mourning for the state of the world and the society around them. Harmless enough, I suppose, but it was thought a bit strange at the time. Sometimes particular topics can be over-emphasised, or taken out of context, and used to underpin a particular church’s direction. In the Corinthian congregation, perhaps the tendency was for celibacy to be promoted, and here was Paul trying to introduce balance and the proper perspective before the believers went off the rails completely, destroying marriages in the process.
We pilgrims are more balanced, we hope. We promote and apply the full counsel of God to our Kingdom lives here on earth, don’t we? How do we do that? By reading and re-reading the Bible. And not just reading it, but studying it. We are blessed today with a whole selection of Bible versions and helps that will enable us to really understand what the Scriptures say. We hear a message from the pulpit and we overlay it on our own understanding of the Word and put to one side anything that doesn’t seem to fit with our understanding of God’s counsel, so that we can explore and study what has been said, and if necessary update our own Christian beliefs. That is one way in which our pastors and teachers disciple their flock. Our preachers often follow a topic or series helpful to believers, and those of us who have been around for many years also benefit from hearing the truths once again. We pilgrims never tire of hearing God’s Word expounded from the front, and that is why we try and never miss a church meeting. Those who do always run the risk that they will miss something that God wants them to hear.
We worship a wonderful God who wants His children to become more like His Son, Jesus, and we believers here on earth embrace all that He has for us, and we do our best to grow in His grace and love, day by day.
Dear Father God. You have wonderful and helpful truths in Your Word, and we thank You for Your servants who open our eyes through the power of the Holy Spirit working within us. Please help us to hear what You want us to hear so that we can grow to be the children of God that You want us to be. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Being a Pilgrim 