“Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command from the Lord. If a fellow believer has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. And if a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the believing husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy. (But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.) Don’t you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you? And don’t you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you?”
1 Corinthians 7:12-16 NLT
A larger-than-usual passage of Scripture today to fuel our thoughts, but Paul is addressing the subject of marriages that contain a believer and an unbeliever. To warrant such attention, this must have been a not uncommon experience in the Corinthian church, and even today, the situation of unequally yoked marriages continues. Similarly, in my own experience, my wife became a Christian a year or so before I did. Although this introduced a new dynamic into our relationship (not always positive initially, dare I say!), there was never any suggestion of a marriage breakdown.
Paul gave some pragmatic advice to those in a marriage where one spouse was a believer and the other wasn’t. To make doubly sure, he laboured the point a little, specifically mentioning that the wife should not leave the husband and the husband should not leave the wife, and he gave a very good reason for the advice. Paul wrote, “For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the believing husband brings holiness to his marriage”. And the spin-off was that the children resulting from their union would also become holy. A win-win situation all around, as the marriage would remain intact and the children would be blessed. And Paul finally suggested that the one-sided relationship would nevertheless leave the door open to the possibility that, through the believing spouse, the unsaved partner might come to know God and be saved themselves. However, Paul did say that this was not a command he had received from the Lord, so it was simply good, sound, practical advice designed to keep marriages together whenever possible. We remember, of course, that marriage between a man and a woman is a God-ordained relationship, regardless of the partners’ individual beliefs.
Paul, however, also addressed the situation where a husband and wife failed in their attempts to keep the marriage together, and where the believing partner decided to leave the relationship. There may have been good reasons for this in the Corinthians’ culture of sexual immorality and general debauchery. Perhaps the wife or the husband was deeply involved in practices that were highly offensive and degrading, refused to change their ways, and made it impossible for the believing partner to live with them. In those cases, Paul released the believer because God had “called [them] to live in peace”. This would have been the doomsday scenario, but one that couldn’t be ignored.
So, what do we pilgrims make of this? A good question and one that demands an answer to a situation we hope we never have to face. But God, in His grace and mercy, has put in His Word advice that has encouraged and helped countless people over the millennia since Paul wrote these words. I have two good friends, each of whom has gone through divorce, and they have come through the situation strong but still wearing the scars in their souls. Marriage is a God-given institution and one that aligns precisely with His commands. We do well if we sustain it, both in our own lives and, if we can, the lives of those we know. And we pray for our friends and family who are considering marriage, that God will lead and guide them in His ways.
Dear Lord Jesus. We thank You for the institution of marriage, and those of us who enjoy the relationship with a believing partner, we give You many thanks. But there will be many who are not so fortunate, and we pray for them today that Your Spirit will be with them and will bless them in all they do. There will also be others who have experienced a painful schism, a divorce between them, and we ask for your forgiveness for the wrongs committed. In such situations, please bring good out of the bad and even a reconciliation where possible. We ask all this in Your precious name. Amen.
Being a Pilgrim 