“Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations. But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. The husband should fulfil his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfil her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.”
1 Corinthians 7:1-4 NLT
At the start of chapter 7 in Paul’s epistle, we find that the Corinthian believers had already sent a letter to him containing certain questions. We don’t know what this letter said, it having been lost in the mists of time, but one of the questions must have been concerned with marriage and sexual matters. The way Paul starts this chapter indicates that the letter from the Corinthians might have included a question asking if celibacy was the best way. We know that in this period of Greece’s history, sexual immorality was rampant, with all sorts of deviant behaviour, so for a spiritual believer in that society, total abstinence might have been promoted as being the best response to the many invitations and expectations coming from a society deeply involved in all sorts of sexual acts. But imagine what the impact of being born again, saved to become a believer in Christ, would have had on a new Christian who suddenly realised how the immoral society around him or her looked to God. They must have immediately asked themselves how they could avoid being caught up in such debauchery, particularly as there may have still been some in their fellowship who remained addicted and compliant, attending the orgies and the like. But perhaps some of those new believers had read Psalm 119:9, where the Psalmist asked the question, “How can a young person stay pure? … “, and the same question must have hovered in the hearts and minds of the Corinthian believers. The answer, of course, is in the second half of this verse – “By obeying Your Word” – and I’m sure this is what the believers attempted to do. But was celibacy the right response? Paul continued to set out God’s order for something we call marriage.
In 1 Corinthians 7:1, Paul wrote, “Each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband”, a simple yet profound definition of marriage. In the Bible, marriage is highlighted as a sacred, lifelong partnership between a man and a woman, which originated in God’s creation and is intended to represent unity and mutual support between the married couple. Marriage is depicted as a partnership where individuals support and strengthen each other, with a strong emphasis on faithfulness, forgiveness, and commitment to one another and to God. It all started in Genesis 2:24, where we read, “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one“. In the concluding chapter of Hebrews, we read, “Give honour to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery” (Hebrews 13:4). In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul clearly set out that sexual relationships must be between a husband and wife, a man and woman in a marriage-based relationship, where the sexual needs of each person are met in a relationship and atmosphere of mutual love, respect and commitment.
In today’s society, marriage has, to a certain extent, unfortunately lost its meaning, with the norm being a man and a woman just “living together” without any sort of formal commitment. The general feeling is that if things don’t work out, then either person can just walk away from the relationship. If there are children resulting from the liaison, then the feeling is that one of the couple, usually the mother, will just have to do the best they can, bringing up children without the other partner present. But even marriages today are not honoured in the way that God intended, with divorces recorded from about 38% of marriages here in the UK.
In Mark 10, we read what Jesus said about divorce and marriage. Jesus had been asked by the Pharisees if a man could divorce his wife, in accordance with the Law of Moses, set out in Deuteronomy 24:1-4. Why did they ask this question? We don’t really know, but perhaps they were trying to trip Jesus up, having found an apparent (to them) contradiction in Scripture. Mark 10:5-9, “But Jesus responded, “He wrote this commandment only as a concession to your hard hearts. But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together””. The important point to note from what Jesus said is that no one, meaning either the husband or the wife, or anyone else, should attempt to break up the marriage.
Marriage and divorce can be very contentious subjects, but for now, the Corinthians were more concerned about the situation with the sexual immorality rife in their society, and what they should do about it. Paul’s answer was clear, and as applicable then as it is today – sexual relationships are good, but only in accordance with God’s order for marriage, between a husband and a wife, in a mutually submissive and loving lifelong relationship.
Dear Father God. We pray that You would protect our marriages, and for all those who are yet to be married, we pray that You will lead and guide them in Your ways. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Being a Pilgrim 